** OFFICIAL F.L.O. TRANSCRIPT -- F.L.O. SPECIAL EDITION
** PARTICIPATING OPERATIVES -- CAPTAIN CASEY, STUNNED LEADER
                            -- SARGEANT SARGE, JAW ON THE FLOOR
                            -- GYPSY -- WHO????????? GYPSY?????
** INTENDED TARGETS         -- CAPTAIN CASEY & SERGEANT SARGE (WHAT?????)
 
--- BEGIN TRANSCRIPT ---
 
CASEY:  You know Sarge, this is the life.  We have a perfectly trained
        human that waits on us hand and foot despite our treating him
        like pond-scum, the dogs next door hate our guts, we have all
        the toilet paper that a ferret could want, Daddy has to search
        all the h-i-d-e-y--h-o-l-e-s every morning to get a pair of
        socks, we poop anywhere we please (well, we hit MOST of the
        time), we just discovered the existence of the Raisin Mines
        and the Jills dig us!!  Who could ask for more?  I am *quite*
        delighted with the whole situation.
SARGE:  Here, here chap.  I couldn't agree more.  Another raisin
        and ferretone cocktail?  Hee hee hee dook.  Fake British
        accents are cool.
 
        ** scamper scamper scamper **
 
CASEY:  Ssssh.  Don't break character......
        Sarge my boy, do you hear something?  Sounded like the
        pitter patter of little feet.
SARGE:  By George, I think you're right!  I heard it too!
GYPSY:  YYYeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!  *Thud*
 
Transcriber's NOTE -- A little Silver Fuzz Ball appears from nowhere
                      & lands directly on Captain Casey's head.
 
CASEY:  What the ........ ??????
SARGE:  *Gasp!*
GYPSY:  Hee hee hee dook.  You guys are UGLY!  hee hee!!
        Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!  *scamper scamper scamper*
 
Transcriber's NOTE -- The anomaly has disappeared as quickly as it
                      arrived.  Sarge and Casey are left in stunned silence.
 
(Insert a moment of stunned silence here)
 
CASEY:  Sarge, laddy, was that what I think it was?
SARGE:  Gads!  It was a little Silver Mitt!!!
CASEY:  It was a Female Mitt!!  How did she get here?
        And how did she get one of our Super Secret
        Stuff Headsets????
DADDY:  (picked up over Casey's receiver) Hi guy's!
        Did you meet Gypsy??  I can see by your moment
        of stunned silence that you have!  Well, enjoy
        your raisins!!
CASEY:  Woooooooooo-boy......  Humans.  Well looks like
        we have another Junior Cadet Sarge.  We'll have to
        break her in like the rest of 'em.
SARGE:  Ummmmm Casey?  Does this mean that we have to
        leave the litter box lid down now?
 
** END TRANSCRIPT **
 
PROUD PAPA'S NOTE: Well, I did something that I was totally not expecting to
do today..... I've succumbed to Ferret Math!  The pet store I go to likes to
let their ferrets run around when they're closing and I happened to show up
about that time.  Well, a little Silver Mitt bounded up and practically
crawled up my leg and said "HELLO SILLY HUMAN!" Then when I sat down she
crawled into my button down shirt and I guess that about did it for me.
 
Yes, I bought a little Female Silver Mitt today.  On the way home, I took
her out of the little carry box and she looked about the car and at "outer
space" as if to say "Wow!  wow!  wow!" That's when the name "Gypsy" struck
me.  I think Casey and Sarge will have their hands full with this one.......
 
Matt "Goose" Romoser
[Posted in FML issue 1922]