***************** SUPER SECRET STUFF F.L.O. DISPATCH ******************
PARTICIPATING OPERATIVES -- Captain Casey : Jill Magnet
                         -- Sargeant Sarge: Jill Magnet and a half
MISSION TIME :
OUTPOST REPORTING :  Ft. Wayne, Indiana Spare Bedroom Corps
 
SUBJECT:  Raisin Mines
***********************************************************************
 
Sables ..... Mitts ..... FERRETS!  Lend me you ears!
 
Captain Casey here!!  I tell you this..  We have struck GOLD fellow
F.L.O.ers!  We are SERIOUSLY on easy street now.  Sarge and I have made
a wonderful discovery.  We have found the entrance to the ever elusive,
forever baffling, stubbornly stealthy, eternally confounding but
tantillizingly tittilating ANCIENT SUPER SECRET SUBTERRANEAN RAISIN MINES!!
It's not a myth ... no longer folklore .... IT'S HERE!
 
We know that the entrance to the Ancient Raisin Fields are here and it is
now up to us to DIG OUR WAY TO FREEDOM!!
 
        (Casey!  I found another one!  Hee hee hee dook!)
 
My trusty comrade-in-paws Sergeant Sarge is busily overturning everything in
sight, digging at the carpet and tunneling under everything which stands in
our way.
 
        (Nope!  Hey!  Here's another raisin! dook!)
 
All field agents are hearby ordered to dig at carpets ..... push aside
litter boxes .... overturn small trash cans ..... toss the food dish .....
shred newspapers ..... and nip toes (the silly human may be hiding a raisin
under there) ..... ALL UNITS, THE RAISIN MINES DO EXIST.  I REPEAT THE
RAISIN MINES ARE *REAL*.
 
How do we know???  Because our silly human picked us up out of our cage,
took us down the stairs and put us on the kitchen floor!!  There were
raisins everywhere!  Surely our Obtuse Silly Human couldn't have put them
all there!  They had to have come from the mines.  Well, needless to say
Sarge and I ......
 
        (Hee hee dook!  ohhhhh.. Casey, my tummy hurts.)
 
went totally wild, hopping and sniffing around eating raisins to our heart's
content.  HEY!  And you know what else?  The raisin mines have another
hidden treasure ..... YES!  THERE WERE CHEERIOS ALL AROUND TOO!!  Cheerios
in a RAISIN MINE you say?  Too good to be true you say?  Well, believe me
comrades!  My beady eyes don't lie!  Well, as soon as we ate all the raisins
and cheerios we could find, we knew that the entrance must be close by.  So
Sarge and I went on a Raisin Mine Mission, looking for that Subterranean
Entrance.  We tunneled under the throw rugs, we pushed aside the garbage
cans, we rooted through the newpapers, there were traces of stray raisins
and cheerios all over!  Fellow ferrets, we will continue on our mission 24
hours a day to find the entrance.  We are on the verge of a wonderous
breakthrough for the cause of the F.L.O.  We will claim the entrance to the
ANCIENT SUPER SECRET SUBTERRANEAN RAISIN MINES in the name of the F.L.O.
and guard it with our fuzzy little lives!!  We will let you know when we
make a breakthrough!  Hope to see you there!  Anything vast enough to cover
our living room floor with raisins and cheerios must be HUGE!!  The mine
must come to your home too!  Ferrets everywhere REJOICE!  DIG!  DIG!  DIG!
 
** END DISPATCH ** CAPTAIN CASEY
 
CAPTAIN CASEY'S HOMEPAGE ---    http://www.cris.com/~Romoser/ferret.html
 
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-==-=
=-   \_/----    Matt Romoser (aka "Romo")                           -=
-=   |    * |   [log in to unmask] ; http://www.cris.com/~Romoser     =-
=-   |      |   Ft. Wayne, Indiana                                  -=
-=   |      |                                                       =-
=-   /     /    "The most important thing in acting is honesty.     -=
-=  /__--/       Once you've learned to fake that, you're in."      =-
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=SAMUEL GOLDWYN=-=-=-
[Posted in FML issue 1918]