This bounced back cause i had already met my limit on posts, for the
night.  It was written in anger, and i was lashing out, but i loved Roxy,
for the little bit of time she lived with us, she was a prescious life,
that we got to share.  She was a wonderful little happy lady, and she
will be sadly missed by everyone.  I am just dumbstruck about this all.
My first with a carcinoma.
 
----- Original Message -----
 
This is my last post for the evening.  I am still reeling from a
weekend of decisions, involving Roxy's sudden illness, she had pyeloric
endocarcinoma, a tumor was completely closing the pyeloric valve, between
her stomach and the intestines.  and it was large enough to block any
food that she HAD, eaten, from moving on through her system, so she did
the next best thing, she could.  She VOMITED up what she had, and QUIT
EATING!.
 
We only had Roxy for a few months, but...she stole my heart, just like
the rest of my babies do.  What i want to say is not going to be easy,
and not readily accepted by many, but i say it for many who run shelters,
and rescues, and i say it to all of YOU, the ones who surrender and those
who rescue.
 
Those of you who surrender these wondeRful little creatures, have it
easy.  You DON'T get the bills, you ESPECIALLY don't GET THE HEARTACHE!
The bills don't matter, i don't have a lot of money, but i know how to
work.  It is the heartache i have to deal with, that i have such a hard
time with.  It AFFECTS ME DEEPLY.  These are not stuffed toys, that when
we outgrow them, or when the stuffing starts to come out of them, we
either patch or dispose of them.  They are living, breathing, SOULS!!!
Just like ourselves!!!
 
When you surrender, do you ever think of them, anymore?  I have yet to
be contacted by anyone wanting to know about the ferret they surrendered
to me, and i have left my phone number with many.  The only time i can
recall, is when LB's previous human (?) , wanted her back, after
abandoning her for @ least 6 months.  He wanted LB, but not Jupiter,
Jupiter wasn't his in the first place, he got Jupiter from a friend.
Well, he got neither of them.  Never called, to see how she was doing,
just assumed.
 
Alll of us who stick it out through the long haul, with our loved ones,
including those teeny little souls of a ferret (s), we KNOW the pain of
LOSS!  We keep on going, BECAUSE, we know there is yet another little
soul, about to be surrendered.  Do you, toss and turn with your decisions
after they have been made?  Or.  .  .do you feel your burden eased, from
the surrender, because you don't have to make the financial & the life or
death decisions anymore?  We can all make excuses or we can make
committments, the choice is up to you.
 
What happened to COMMITTMENT???  Just like a lot of animal souls, i guess
it has also become extinct.
 
I would say i am sorry, but i am not, i am ANGRY.  I lost a wonderful
little companion, entertainer, and friend again today.  The only thing i
am thankful for is that I was the one blessed with getting her.  The same
goes for Athena, Odysseus, Felicia, Diana, and Angel.  All i can do is sit
here, and try to nurse my headache, from all the tears i have cried for
her.  Try to forgive myself , for making the decision i did.  Did i make
the right decisions, for her care and well being?  Questioning myself all
the time.  Everyday i think of Athena, Odysseus, Diana, Felicia, Angel
and now Roxie, i tell them i am sorry.  I have my own granite wall filled
with fallen, companions in a fight for the right to be treated with
respect & love.
 
When will this ever end?  Only when my own life is forfeited?  For me
anyway.
 
Heartbroken, in Wisconsin
[Posted in FML issue 3816]