I'm not looking for any responses here - If you would just bear with me
while I use this forum to grieve for my latest loss in an atmosphere of
those who understand while I have moved to a state with very few ferret
owners.
 
If anyone on the FML is in the Louisville, KY area, I'd love to hear from
you as I'm feeling pretty alone down here as far as ferret friends!
 
And today there is 10.  One less than yesterday but many less that previous
times.
 
Each time that I go through this, I go through a brief period where I
wonder why I do this.  It is my habbit to bring home only the sick and the
elderly - those considered "unadoptable" who deserve so very much to have a
loving family, a home to call their own and the same loving arms reaching
out to pick them up and cuddle them each day.  In doing so, I set myself up
for this heartache as their time is short and their illnesses are many.  I
curse we humans for being so careless and thoughtless as to breed such
disease into these little creatures - knowing that I probably don't have a
good understanding of how it all happened to begin with, but only seeing
the end result as it lies in my arms, telling me that it's OK, it's time.
 
"It's Time" is never a certainty to me - I had the appointment for this
particular baby a week ago, cancelled because it didn't feel right.  Yet
today, I feel I waited too long.  Each time I question; did I do it too
soon, did I wait too long, should I have done it at all?  I take so
seriously being responsible for these little lives and the responsibility
of knowing when it's time to help them by this one last and most difficult
loving gesture.
 
Tonight, when I get home from work, everyone will come out to play and
tehre will be a few more cuddles and kisses than the usual night as I am
reminded again just how short the time is together and how much I love each
and every one of them.  In a few days, I will know once again the feeling
of why it is that I do this.
 
I say goodbye to you today my little Nestle.  My little chocolate boy who
always held his tail higher than any ferret I've ever known.  The 1st
little ferret that I ever brought home from the shelter, with the stupid
idea of getting him healthy and "making him adoptable" with the intention
of bringing him back for adoption - ya, right.  You were such a challenge -
a smorgasboard of food in front of you and you would eat none of it.  I
built you up on many servings of "soup" a day and still you refused solid
food.  It was not until I was e-mailing back and forth with a ferret mom
all the way in PA, discussing the prospect of poking pills down your
throat, that you finally decided, "OK, maybe some of these kibbles with
Ferretone on them would be alright" and you were off from there.
 
Nestle coined the phrase, "Not the Momma" (OK, known to only a couple of
people, but it's a cute story).  Nestle was found as a stray at a church
picnic.  The people who found him described how he went from lawn chair
to lawn chair, looking up at the women as if saying, no, not the momma,
and moving to the next and again, no, that's not the momma.  Until someone
picked him up and brought him to the shelter, in a box complete with
lettuce and carrots!!!  They said he just looked so lost and like he
really knew who he was looking for.  So, I was also his "not the momma"
for a while, but became the momma after a time.
 
So today, my little Nestle, you go to join your many friends; Ren and
Stimpy, Katie, Hershey, Popeye, Goober, Doodle, Adam, Maggie, Newman,
Nibblet, Nina, Consuela, Charlie, and Nikka.
 
And you leave at home your family, Snowball, Bunny, Hermie, Houdini,
Sunshine, Cosmo, Sammy, Chomper, Snowflake, Princess Mantha, Jimmy the dog
that you never liked and Elvis the cat whose food you stole regularly -
Momma, Pappa and Mike.  I love you little Buddy.
 
Always "The Momma"
--
Jerri Carel
Louisville, KY
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[Posted in FML issue 3209]