Q: "I want to have more ferrets, but find the medical cost too high.  Any
    suggestions?"
 
A: Marry a vet.
 
Actually, this is a rather common complaint, and I have started to suggest
to clubs and shelters that the membership band together to form their own
ferret insurance plan.  Depending on the size and make-up of the group,
this could be as informal as a couple of families sharing expenses to a
formal incorporation.Now, I can't give specific details or costs, because
as any insurance agent will tell you, those are geographic variables.  But
I can give you a idea of what might work, and if you think it is a good
idea, then you can modify it to your own use.
 
First and foremost, any insurance works by minimally having the inflow
match the outflow, which means if you spend an average of $1200 a year on
vet bills, then you must accept the idea that you need to spend $100 a
month on "Premiums." The way insurance companies can get around this high
monthly cost is through the magic of statistics; they figure out the cost
of treatments over a specific period of time, averaged over a large number
of people, and set their rates on that sum.  The more people in the
program, the lower the monthly cost.  This works because for every sick
person there are lots of people who are not sick.
 
You can do the same thing with ferrets, especially if you are a club having
a large membership.  For example, you can poll the membership to figure out
the exact costs spend from the membership on a yearly basis, then could
collect the average sum from each person, on a per-ferret basis, to be used
to pay for vet expenses.  Now, you can do this yourself, but all you will
be doing is averaging your yearly costs in order to pay them on a monthly
basis (which is exactly what I do).  The advantage of having a lot of other
people do this with you is the monthly costs will be lower (they will
reduce as more people join in until they reach the lowest possible point
for your particular area, where they will stabilize and remain fairly
constant).
 
Here is one way this could work.  Costs are figured out for a per-ferret
yearly basis, and anyone in the club can sign up.  Ferrets entered into
the program are chipped and photographed so the dishonest person with 10
ferrets doesn't attempt to only pay for 3, and only bring in the sick ones.
The club finds vets who are willing to give the club a discount for ferret
care in return for the added business.  A member with a sick ferret goes to
the vets signed up into the program, presents their membership card, the
ferret has the chip checked out, the vet cares for the ferret, and bills
the club.  Easy as pie.  The vets benefit because of an increasd or more
dependable income; the club benefits because of an increased public
awareness (it can be used as a membership incentive) and increased member
support; the ferret owner benefits from lowered costs for medical care;
and the ferrets benefit most of all because they get a vet with lots of
experience, as well as care when they first get sick, rather than when the
owner can afford it.
 
Since this is essentially a cooperative, the membership can vote on types
of benefits possible; that is, what types of treatments are approved for
specific illnesses.  Your group may not elect to cover an illness another
group has decided to cover.  Its up to you.  Bear in mind each state (not
to mention country) has their own regulations regarding this sort of
cooperative venture, so make inquires before setting up the program.
 
Oh yes; one more thing.  If the club supports a shelter that gets lots of
sick ferrets, the membership fee can be sightly higher than the minimum to
allow for funds for the treatment of orphaned/abandoned ferrets.  Also,
many times a club faces the tough decision of what to do when someone who
loves their ferret has a problem but no funds to pay for treatment.  Some
clubs will treat the ferret if the person gives it up, which I feel is
morally and ethically disgusting.  In essence, you are punishing someone
for being poor, but you are also INCREASING your club costs by bringing yet
another ferret into the shelter system.  It would be CHEAPER for the club
to DONATE the funds for treatment, rather than housing the ferret in the
shelter.  Not only that, but it would be BETTER for the ferret to stay in a
loving home.  The insurance idea would allow your club to bring the
infortunate person into the club--as a member--where they could either
start paying part or all of the premiums, or work them off in services,
such as cleaning shelter cages, playing with caged ferrets, etc.
Additionally, you can teach the new member how to care for the ferret to
increase it's quality of life.  And it gets you off the hook, so you don't
have to resort to ethically and morally disgusting acts in order to get a
ferret medical care.
 
Q: "Why do ferrets have skin between their toes?"
 
A: To store the toe jam in.
 
Regardless of what some people might say about ferrets hating baths, they
are actually well designed for a semi-aquatic life.  While the webbing does
not match that of otters, it does almost equal that of mink, both American
and European.  The webbing id found between all the toes of all four feet,
and--if you look close--is covered with a fine fur.
 
The webbing has two functions.  First, it increases swimming ability buy
turning the paws into paddles, sort of like a duck foot with its webbing.
It also has the suspected function of making digging somewhat easier,
because the webbing allows more dirt to be moved with fewer strokes.  I
don't think the second idea is as good as the first, especially considering
the number one food item for European polecats is amphibians.
 
Bob C and 20 MO' Froggin' Ferts
[Posted in FML issue 2510]