This is far worse than I thought.  When a group has organized to the point
where they have a term for themselves (uberfrettchen), it indicates a self
identity that is dangerous!  They soon develop secret pawshakes and other
ways to recognize each other at frolics.  They will collude and abet each
other to win all the events and prove their inherent superiority.  The
propaganda mills will have a field day.   The fringe group that I belong to
has tapped phone lines and recorded talks about blood doping and steroid use
(there is no Bill of Rights in Canada).
 
Takeshimasan is as wily an agent as I have ever seen.  He expects me to tell
him how we have rented CIA (Commercialized Intelligence Agency) sky birds
(spook talk for surveillance satellites) and have them trained on Japan
around the clock.  Well, no way will you ever get that from me.  I just want
to know how he managed to intercept our high resolution shots of his ferret.
Oh no, moles!   Thought I couldn't mention them on a FERRET mailing list,
eh?   Not clever enough for us by half (yes, we have British ties).
 
Note the subtle ease with which he probes the depth of our bioengineering
techniques in parthenogenesis and cloning.  He admits the adeptness the
Japanese have for capturing the essence of global tastes and fulfilling
them.  (Futons are the only couch that is guaranteed ferret proof.)  This
must mean they intend to bud new ferrets from old ones to circumvent import
restrictions once they are in the country.   This is not domestic
production.  Will they dook when they mean a hiss?  Aha! So this is why Emi
is making this carefully planned trip and is so worried about a seizure.
I'll alert the FAA (Ferret American Administration) and have Salt Lake City
shut down.  Unfortunately, our operatives weren't successful in confusing
you about where it is safe.  I can only hope that Delta is an unwitting dupe
in this plot.
 
What can be done to halt this conspiracy?   That is why ENUFF (Enlightened
Nuts, Unbelievers in Foreign Ferrets) was started, but we need your
contributions.  Just leave them in the 3rd stall down in the Men's room at
Grand Central Station and we'll take it from there.   Next time someone
plies you with a foreign ferret just say, "thanks, but we've got ENUFF!"
   ( )--(a)
   (@=@=) \     Till next time.......Rudy the ferlosopher
   O__)  \ \___
      \   \
      /\ * )  \      Rudy smiles maniacally
[Posted in FML issue 1231]