With respect to the postings on the FML about the movement of ferrets'
tails under certain circumstances, we here at Ferrets NorthWest FNW in
Seattle have done some little investigation into this phenomenon.
 
We have concluded that the ferret tail "flicking" (it definitely is not tail
wagging, as dogs are wont to do) but rather a flicking of the base of the
tail that sends a wave of lateral motion "sidewise" down the length of the
ferret's tail.  Thus there is the appearance that the tail is flicking
sidewise, which it does, and leads the casual observer to conclude that the
ferret is "wagging" its tail.
 
If one has ever observed the tail of a cat or a cougar about to pounce on a
prey "object" there is movement of the tip of the tail rather than its base,
as in the case of the ferret.  Also notice that just prior to the leap of
the cat upon its object, there is a rippling of the musculature of the large
muscles of the hind legs, a sort or jitter, that seems to prepare the cat
for its lightning-like swift leap upon its "object."
 
We are of the mind that the apparent flicking of the ferret's tail is really
the jittering or dithering of musclature of the hindquarters (legs and
pelvis) preparatory to the "attack leap" and that this dithering of the
musculature is simply transmitted down the length of the tail and gives the
appearance that the tail is flicking (or wagging as some are inclined to
call it.)
 
It has been suggested that this demonstration of pre-jump or fore-attack
mode of tail flicking is yet another indication of the predatory and
deep-seated, instinctive aggressiveness of the ferret as it prepares itself
for the killing strike upon its victim.
 
This pre-attack phenomenon can be demonstrated quite vividly by running
one's finger along the length of a cage when the ferret is at that cage
surface and is interested in you.  By running your finger horizontally along
the cage bars, like a kid with a stick running it along a picket fence, you
will notice that the ferret quickly tracks your finger movement and will
bite like hell if you are dumb enough to put part of your finger between the
cage openings where the ferret can reach it with its jaws.  You may also
note that the ferret's tail appears to be flicking sideways to and fro as it
"hunkers down" and prepares itself in very nervous anticipation for the next
run of your finger alongside the wall of the cage.  Please pay particular
attention to the ferret's hips and hind legs as it kind of trembles, almost
vibrates, with anticipation for its next lunge at your finger ticking along
the cage bars.  This is, as the ferret may see it, kill time.  You can
demonstrate this quite easily with the younger ferret as compared to the
older ferret.
 
One may draw inference from this slight evidence that the veneer of
domestication of the ferret is very, very thin and that it doesn't take a
rocket scientist to surmise that the "domesticated" ferret is not
significantly domesticated . . .  yet.  And, it's rather a strange thing:
that the emasculated ferret demonstrates a greater degree of domesticity
than his viripotent brother (viripotent = testiculated and adolescent to
sexually mature.)
 
However, one must ask, does neutering influence domesticity?  After all, a
ball-less ferret cannot pass on his "sissy-hood" to his progeny, since,
obviously he won't hump a jill, no matter how pretty she is.  Does it seem
that one can confuse domesticity with congeniality in this case?  Hey!  I
just did.
 
In summary, one may surmise that tail flicking in the ferret is a signal to
us of its kindred spirit of wildness.  Is this a trait to be admonished or
rather, a trait to be admired?  For me personally, it's a joy to behold.
 
How's that song go? cigarettes and whiskey and wild, wild women.  They'll
drive you crazy, they'll drive you insane!
 
Edward, Der Wahrheitskaempe von Frettchenvergnuegenland dabei, Lipinski.
[G.]  Edward, the Champion of Truth from the land of Ferret Joy,
Lipinski.
[Posted in FML issue 2377]