** OFFICIAL F.L.O. TRANSCRIPT -- F.L.O. SECRET DOUBLE DOOKER MISSION **
** PARTICIPATING OPERATIVES -- CAPTAIN CASEY, MISSION COMMANDER
                            -- SARGEANT SARGE, MISSION SPECIALIST
** INTENDED TARGET          -- DAD, SILLY NEUTRAL HUMAN
 
--- BEGIN TRANSCRIPT ---
 
CASEY:  Sarge, do you read me?  Come in Specialist Sarge.  Is your super
        secret stuff headset working properly?
SARGE:  Casey?  Where are you at?  I can hear you, but I can't see you.
CASEY:  That's because I'm in the Subterranian Under the Dresser Stronghold
        (S.U.D.S) you dolt!  Remember the mission??  You're wearing a super
        secret stuff headset!
SARGE:  Umm.  Oh!  Yeah.  heh heh dook.  Alpha!  Bravo!  Come in Enterprise!
        Beam me up Scotty!  hee hee hee hee dook.
CASEY:  Shut up!  (I can't believe he's my litter mate .... sigh)  Commence
        Phase One !!  Long live the F.L.O.!
SARGE:  Aye! Aye! Cap'n!  huh huh!  The F.L.O. is cool.
CASEY:  Sargeant Sarge... report.  What do you see?
SARGE:  Daddy's laying on the couch readin' a book!
CASEY:  Perfect!  You know what to do!
SARGE:  Yep!  Hee hee.  dumm dee dee (Transcriber's note: Sarge is strolling
        casually toward an "unlitterboxed" corner of the room) Sniff sniff!
        Fire ONE!  Ferret mine away!!
SILLY HUMAN (picked up over Sarge's receiver):  SARGE!  NO!  Rrrrgghh!  Bad
        boy!
SARGE:  YYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!  (plop) hee hee hee.
        Fire TWO!
SILLY HUMAN:    Come here you. (sound of struggle being picked up!  Sarge
        whines in the background.  Now crunchy sound can be heard)
CASEY:  Sargeant Sarge, report please.  What's going on?
SARGE:  He dropped me in the litter box to finish my business..
CASEY:  Oh, I'll wait.
SILLY HUMAN:    Good boy!  Good boy!
SARGE:  Why, you're welcome . . . . NOW, WHERE'S MY PAYMENT????
SARGE:  (chomp chomp chomp, eatin' a raisin sounds picked up.  A few moments
        of silence can be heard)
SILLY HUMAN:    Good boy!
SARGE:  Ahhhh!!  That's great.  Yeah....  A little higher and to the left
        please.  Oh Yeah......
CASEY:  SARGE!!  What in St. Raisins name are you doin'????
SARGE:  Gettin' a tummy rub.   hee hee hee hee dook.
CASEY:  AAAA!!  YOU IDIOT!  You're comprimising the mission you fool!
SARGE:  I'm gettin' a tummy rub and yooouuuu arrrnnnn'tt!  hee hee.
        What??  Hey, don't stop now!  aaaaaaaaaaawww.
CASEY:  Collaborator.......
SARGE:  Psssttt.  He went to get paper towel to clean up the ferret mines!
        The target is in sight!
CASEY:  Phase 2!!  Phase 2!!  The diversion worked after all!
SARGE:  I'm on it!  hee hee.  sniff sniff *chomp* (dragging noises)
        I've got the goods!  I'm in the "under the couch H-I-D-E-Y-
        -H-O-L-E"!
CASEY:  Mission is a success!  Good job Mission Specialist Sarge!  I'll
        be right down!  Another F.L.O. victory! (scamper scamper scamper)
SARGE:  Mmmmm...MMMMMM!!  *chomp chomp slurp lick lick chomp*
CASEY:  Oh!  Yeah!!!  It's the MOTHER LODE!!!  YESSS!!  Fuzzy High
        Five! *slap*  *chomp chomp slurp chomp lick chomp*  MMMmmmm!!
SILLY HUMAN: (picked up over Captain Casey's receiver) Hey!!  Where'd
        my French Fries go??????
 
-- END MISSION TRANSCRIPT
-- MISSION TIME:        00:04:23
-- MISSION RESULT:      BRILLIANT VICTORY FOR THE SPARE BEDROOM CORPS.
 
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-==-=
=-   \_/----    Matt Romoser (aka "Romo")                           -=
-=   |    * |   [log in to unmask] ; http://www.cris.com/~Romoser     =-
=-   |      |   Ft. Wayne, Indiana                                  -=
-=   |      |                                                       =-
=-   /     /    "The most important thing in acting is honesty.     -=
-=  /__--/       Once you've learned to fake that, you're in."      =-
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=SAMUEL GOLDWYN=-=-=-
[Posted in FML issue 1846]