Glossary of Ferret Terms
 
BOTTLE BRUSH  -  See Bright-eyed and Bushy-tailed
BRIGHT-EYED & BUSHY-TAILED  -  Describes an excited ferret. The tail
   hairs stand on end and eyes sparkle. Accompanied by dooks and the War
   Dance. Sometimes preceeding the Bups.
BUPS  -  Hiccups brought on by excitement.
CHOMP  -  Unexpected meeting of flesh and ferret teeth. Often a compli-
   ment (they think of you as a ferret) or enticement to play.
COW KILLING  -  This act can be accomplished in a variety of methods by
   roving bands of renegade ferrets. Often thought to be the reason that
   ferrets are illegal in California.
COW TIPPING  -  Sometimes a prelude to Cow Killing.
THE DANCE OF JOY  -  See The War Dance.
THE DASH AND CACHE  -  Quick grab of food, socks, keys, etc. and the mad
   dash to a hidey hole. Can be accompanied by dooks and the War Dance.
DIRT  -  Ultimate compliment a ferret can give. If they dig at your leg,
   feet, arms, etc., you are being told that you are as good and dear as
   dirt. Often accompanied by the Licker.
DOOK  -  Happy chuckling sound a ferret makes.
DRAG RACING  -  This takes place after the ferret has made good use of
   their litter box or a favorite corner.
THE GOOD STUFF  -  Translated from Ferretese. Refers to any delicacy
   such as raisins, melon, Ferretone, cookies, ice cream, etc. The items
   are in short supply and are guarded by humans.
HIDEY HOLE  -  The "secret" spot where a ferret hides all of their
   treasures. Often inaccessible to all but ferrets. See Dash and Cache.
   Also known as the Treasure Trove and Goodie Bin.
THE LICKER  -  A sign of affection. The ferret licks an area of exposed
   skin. Sometimes accompanied by the Chomp.
THE PLACE  -  Translated from Ferretese. This term applied to any place
   that is not "home". Often applied to parks and vet offices.
RAISINS  -  Ambosia. Nectar of the Gods. See The Good Stuff.
SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY  -  This term used by humans to describe letting
   ferrets sleep with let in the same bed. See Chomp, Licker, and Dirt.
SOCKS  -  These devices threaten the universe itself. They are known to
   spontaneously create black holes sucking items into another universe.
   This explains why a sock's mate is always missing. Ferrets are ad-
   vanced beings who are aware of when a sock is in this condition. They
   do their best to stop the creation of black holes by chewing holes in
   the sock which will stop the creation of any black holes. Ferrets
   become aggitated if a sock in this condition is on a human's foot.
   The unsuspecting human could be swept into another universe if not
   saved. A Chomp may be the only course of action.
THE WAR DANCE  -  A wild dance consisting of the ferret arching their
   back, jumping up and down stiff legged, swinging the head back and
   forth while dooking. Done for many reasons such as victory, joy,
   enticement to play, etc. Known by many names.
 
Kimberly Burkard        |             _      _      _      _    Furry frenzy -
Xerox, Rochester, NY    |      _____C .._._C .._._C .._._C .._. ferret frolic!
[log in to unmask] | ____/     \___/  \___/  \___/  \___/  (Squirt, Pippi,
[log in to unmask]<____/\_---\_\ _--\_\ _--\_\ _--\_\    Atlas, Hijinx)
[Posted in FML issue 1186]