Good Monday Morning!  A few days ago I asked a question regarding my
ferrets' water and received a number of helpful replies.  This weekend I
purchased a "Pur Plus" filter for the kitchen sink.  I chose this brand
because it apparently filters a little more thoroughly than the others.  It
cost $34.99 and comes with one filter in place and one extra.  Each filter
lasts about 3 months.  About an hour after I installed it, a clean-water
activist rang the doorbell and asked me to sign a petition/make a
donation/receive a newsletter in regard to lowering mercury levels in
Wisconsin lakes.... so I got my first water filter and made my first
contribution to an environmental cause on the same day.  Seemed a happy
coincidence, and the ferrets are blissfully snorking down their nice new
water, so all is well on that front.
 
HOWEVER, I've also received some inquiries about the Titanic story my
Erudite Ferret, Bumble B.  Bobbitt, was composing for the FML.  He was, at
first, simply transcribing notes made by his Even More Erudite
Great-Great-Ever-So- Great Grandfather, that flawed but heroic and lovable
ferret known (before changing his name at Customs in order to elude the
forces of law and order) as the Humble Robber.
 
Unfortunately, Bumble's efforts bogged down under the all too common
circumstances that, clumped together, comprise that horrid phenomenon known
as Writer's Block.  Chief among these was Bumble's dawning realization that
old Humble Robber, like many of us, favored "embroidered" truth (to phrase
it politely) over humdrum reality.  Apparently Robber believed that even the
drama of the Titanic voyage could do with his personal embellishment.
Consequently, Robber's story was found, at its very beginning, to contain a
rather serious mangling of established fact as to the time of day the great
ship reached Cherbourg, France.  Bumble felt compelled, after discovering
this discrepancy, to research the Titanic tragedy further and do some
re-writing designed to, it is hoped, successfully interweave Robber's
somewhat self-serving recollections with real history.
 
Following his research, Bumble dictated to me a complete and elaborate
outline of the rest of Robber's story, immediately cached it somewhere, and
then couldn't remember where it was.  (You know ferrets!) He was all set to
work on a fresh outline when he was EXTREMELY DISTRACTED by the fact that
his FUR WAS FALLING OUT.  This was only the usual Spring Shed, but he was
became deeply concerned about meeting the expense of Rogaine, and you know
how sadly money worries can affect budding authors.  Also, he has never
fully reconciled himself to his neutered status (as his female companions
can attest), and feared he was losing his remaining Macho along with the
fur.  He's fine now, a rich darker coat having grown in, although the
"widow's peak" on his forehead seems for some reason to have lowered,
transforming him into a little "Bumble Lagosi."
 
So we've worked through all the extraneous hindrances and are, I think,
prepared to carry on, slowly but surely.  FML encouragement has helped
greatly, and Bumble feels he's past the stagnate stage of making excuses and
is ready to do some real work.  (He's even begun dreaming little ferret
dreams of someday making an economic profit from his efforts so that he can
contribute some cash to ferret shelters.) Thanks to all who've shown
interest!
[Posted in FML issue 2311]