"Adventures of the Starship Raisinprize"
"Episode 1 - Transmission 4 of 5"
(The ship bounces around and spins and goes through some really neat
lighting effects for a few moments before it pops back into normal
space.)
CAPTAIN: "Helm, where are we?"
SULU: "We are a whole bunch of nap times away from the Dogulons. Sir,
this is uncharted space."
CAPTAIN: "Start scanning. Let s proceed forward slowly. All tails
fluffy."
BEEP ... BLARP ... BEEP
CHECKOV: "Aliun wessel approaching, unknown race. They appear to have
similar armament to us, but their ship is larger."
CAPTAIN: "Upoopoo, open hailing frequencies."
(The captain of the alien vessel appears on the screen. It has pointy
ears and long whiskers.)
CAPTAIN: "Greetings!"
CAPTAIN OF THE ALIEN VESSEL: "Greetings, I HACK GACK PTHUT HACK...Sorry,
hairball. I am Clawm Seamripper. You have ventured into Cling-On
Space. What are your intentions here?"
CAPTAIN DOOK: "We are members of F.L.O. from Planet Earth. We are
exploring the galaxy looking for ... uhmmm ... nice things to do. Yeah,
nice things to do (hee hee). May we pass ... uhmmm ... peacefully
(giggle) through your territory?"
CAPTAIN CLAWM: "I do not mind as long as you avoid our populated areas.
Unfortunately there has been some radioactive contamination ahead, and
the entire area has been quarantined. Our vessel is coated with
radioactive dust which we are unable to lick off safely."
CAPTAIN DOOK: "That is terrible. Perhaps my crew can assist? Sock, any
ideas?"
SOCK: "There is a way, but..."
CAPTAIN DOOK: "Good! May we help you Captain Clawm? As a token of our
... uhmmm ... friendship (giggle)?"
CAPTAIN CLAWM: "Well, perhaps. Can you tell us more details?"
CAPTAIN DOOK: "Let me consult with my crew first. Senior staff, report
to my ready room."
(All of the ferrets run under a couch and begin whispering to each
other. Occasionally a giggle is heard. A few moments latter all of the
ferrets run back to their stations and begin keying instructions into
their consoles.)
CAPTAIN DOOK: "We think this will work, but some of our technology is
secret, so we can't tell you about it."
CAPTAIN CLAWM: "Very well, proceed."
CAPTAIN DOOK: "Sulu, begin procedure."
(Suddenly a large, highly concentrated jet of water squirts out of the
Raisinprize. The Cling-On Claw is completely soaked.)
CAPTAIN CLAWM: "Screech! Hiss! What are you doing? We are soaked.
Hiss Hiss!"
CAPTAIN DOOK: "The radioactive dust has been washed off hasn't it? Hee
hee! Hope you enjoyed your bath! (giggle) Transmission off."
SULU: "The Claw is extending its weapons!"
CAPTAIN DOOK: "Oops! Prepare to retreat."
SULU: "Five more Claws are uncloaking! Weapons fully extended! Boy did
you piss them off. (hee hee) This is a major hissy fit."
CAPTAIN DOOK: "Head for the Hidey-Hole, I have a plan. Scotty, give me
more speed."
SCOTTY: "The hamsters are running as fast as they can. They can't take
much more captain!"
CAPTAIN DOOK: "Then get your fat butt on the wheels with them! Make the
ship GO!"
(The Raisinprize zooms towards the Hidey-Hole with six Cling-On Claws in
hot pursuit.)
(to be continued)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Bryan P. Coffey - Boston, MA
The Weasel Warriors - Albi, Esef, Merri & Mint
http://www.gis.net/~bpcoffey/furball.html
[Posted in FML issue 2715]
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