We are still in recovery mode from hurricane Renee, category 5 here in
TN.  The kids are still walking around chanting "java java java", and
sneaking off to Barnies behind our backs.  I found one kid in the corner
of the mall slouched over his cappuccino like a junkie.  Very sad.  But
they are now in a 12 step recovery program and I'm optimistic about the
situation.  Scott and I are getting active to loose the extra pounds that
her debris is responsible for.  Sean is cooking homemade macaroni and
cheese from directions the storm left and with the ingredients that the
storm left behind.  We still have a ways to go with the clean up.
 
I thought we had made considerable progress until yesterday.  You see the
'cane left a Walmart gift card behind.  Scott recently found it in the
debris and scarfed it up.  It was actually a lucky find because he was in
desperate need of underwear due to the fact that all of his undies are
always "blown out" (as the FML regularly reports around the country).
Odd that the hurricane didn't just drop off underwear if that was it's
intention, but I suppose that was a bit too personal.  Hurricane's aren't
personal you know.  They just are what they are.  Anyway, just as things
were settling down so nicely, Scott went to Walmart while I was under the
weather from at tooth extraction to get these underwear by himself.  He
came home not with underwear and socks for himself, but with four large
bottles of Gerbers banana baby food, and three 12 packs of chocolate
pudding snacks which he presented to me.  The last time he went out to
get me bags of chocolate snacks while I was sick (anyone see a problem
with bags of chocolate snacks while you are sick?), he came home with
Laddie.  Sigh.  Before I could even stand up and panic, he followed up
the gesture with bringing in a huge box.  Thank God, it wasn't another
ferret.  But it was just as bad ... or worse.
 
It was a fish tank set up.  The next few minutes seemed to happen in slow
motion.  My fists clenched at my sides, eyes grew into two huge orbs,
veins bulged from my neck, and saliva spittled from my clenched teeth
as I let out a big, "Oh hell no!" The "man" replied that it was all "for
me" ... you know, because the Betta and the two tiny aquatic frogs in
their bowls need a place to swim, and see how much easier it would be
this way he went on.  He knows that the beta is a fighting fish.  He has
to stay in "his area".  He has to stay in China.  He cannot venture over
country boundaries and visit Japan.  Or there will be plunder and death.
The wee frogs are happy in their own bowl.  I know this because they
sing ... every night.  And they have done so for 10 years.  Now that I
think about it, I ... was very happy as well.  I know this because I
didn't have anything to "clean".  I just changed out water every two
weeks and I was good to go.  And I ... used to sing every night as well.
 
The man ran around today like a little kid setting up the aquarium.  Next
week, he's going to buy fish.  I think I feel blood in my mouth again as
I type this.  Obviously from clenching my teeth (the ones that are left)
and opening up my stitches again in anger as I type.  I am going to name
each and every fish "Renee".  So I can look at all of the "Renee's" each
day and be reminded of the disaster that she not only brought but left
behind.
 
Renee, next time you ever "blow" through Chattanooga again .... you are
going to meet all of your little friends, and you are going to clean the
tank.  In fact, every time, you choose to "blow" through here ... you are
going to clean the tank!  Be wary FML folk.  Be wary.  The storm hides
behind a front of transported ferrets and good intentions.  But in the
storm lurks all sorts of devastation.
 
I am here as a volunteer, available by phone for anyone in the future who
is in crises as a result of this strange, meandering hurricane.  Stay
safe ...
 
Wolfy
 
<http://wolfysluv.jacksnet.com>
Sean and Rocky Slide show
<http://www.picturetrail.com/gallery/view?p=999&gid=7222047&uid=3512225>
See Sean before Rocky
<http://www.picturetrail.com/gallery/view?p=999&gid=8972718&uid=3512225>
[Posted in FML issue 5132]