Q:"My wife has a theory that other than dooking, chuckling, and barking--
ferrets make noises that are too high for humans to hear.  Any truth to
this?"
 
A: Wha? Someone saying somethin'?
 
You forgot the "leave my ass alone" squeal, the high-pitched "somebody help
me!!!" wail, or the "Your canine is ripping off my ear" squeak-growl.  And
there is that little grunt-sigh they make when they want down and you won't
let them.  But you have a good question, and I honestly don't know the
answer.
 
It is certainly possible ferrets make sounds out of the range of human
hearing, either high or low, but I can find no supporting evidence either
way.  I would suggest testing their hearing, but a carnivore being able to
hear a high-pitched sound wouldn't mean they actually make the sound; the
ability may be tied to predatory abilities (like being able to hear a mouse
fart from 50 yards away).
 
I recieved this question some time ago, and haven't answered it until now
because I've been trying to find something which addresses the matter, but
to avail.  If anyone has done research on the question, the reference is
not in the public domain.  However, based on the morphology of their larnyx
(the box holding their vocal cords and air passage), which is very much
like newborn human babies, I would guess the number of sounds out of the
range of human hearing would be small.
 
Perhaps someone else on the list may have the electronic gear to test for
these out-of-hearing sounds, and can report it back to the FML.  Maybe that
ringing in my ears I get from time to time is the ferrets trying to tell me
something (....feed more raisins....).  It would certainly explain how if
one knows a door is open, they all scramble for it..... hummmmmm.
 
Q:"Why do ferrets sometime bite when they lick you?"
 
A: You been watching those tapes stolen from my video camera and available
all over the internet again? I LOVED Tommy, OK!!??
 
It's almost certainly a grooming behavior of some sort.  My friend Dick
thinks it's because they interpret nekid skin as matted fur, and that's
just as good an answer as any.  Not every ferret does it; some never do.
Some, like my little Sam-Luc, almost draw blood when they chomp down.
 
The licking part is actually the ferret telling you that you are pretty
cool person.  It's a socialization type of behavior, which is what most
non-individual grooming behaviors are all about.  Sort of a message that
says, "I'm cool, your cool, lets be really good friends."  If you watch the
ferrets closely, and notice things like length of time for the grooming,
and who is grooming whom, you will find subordinate ferrets groom dominant
ferrets for longer periods of time.  Also, while the grooming behavior
towards humans can occur at any time, it most often occurs when you are
petting the ferret, which they interpret as a grooming behavior; you start
it, they join in.  At least that's what I've noticed in my group of 19.
And the ferrets seem to pass the behavior up the scale to humans; Carbone
and Tui, my two dominant bumbling brothers, will groom my arms for hours;
starting when I pet them and lasting long after.
 
The actual biting is a mystery, however.  It could be to loosen or remove
dry skin, dirt or other debris, even if it isn't actually there.  It could
be an attempt to kill or dislodge parasites, such as lice, ticks, or fleas.
It could be to loosen or pull free matted or moulting fur.  No one knows.
Dick's idea that it is to loosen matted fur is based on the idea that they
pluck and pull at their own fur when grooming themselves (yes, they *DO*
lick-lick-chomp themselves), and I think it is a great idea.  Ferret skin
is very tough compared to human skin, and I suspect what feels like a nasty
pinch to me, might be a soothing, even pleasant experience for them.  Or
maybe they are all into something kinky.
 
Maybe some of the really hairy among us would volunteer to experiment by
shaving half their body and seeing how many chomps they get on the clean
side compared to the hairy side.  I don't know if it would mean anything
scientifically, but it would be great fun to see a lot of ferret people
running around half shaved.
 
Bob C and 19 Mo' Chompers of Church
[Posted in FML issue 2617]