Just had to share what happened last night.  Ogre is my big, 100+ pound ten
year old boxer/pitbull cross-- and the nicest sweetest dog you'd ever want
to meet.  He's being terrorized by my 1&1/2 pound Most Perfect Ferret In
The Whole Wide World, Pandora.  My husband has trained Ogre to jump on the
couch and lie down when the ferrets are out, using the new "High Ground,
Ogre, High Ground!" command he came up with.  Last night Ogre made the
mistake of standing up on the floor while the ferrets were out.  Instantly,
Pandora focused on her prey.  You've got to picture this tiny,
panda-colored cuteness attacking this huge, eye-rolling terrified dog; it
looks like a fox attacking a buffalo.
 
She nips his ankles and leaps up on his knees and bites him.  She doesn't
draw blood, and she ignores him if he lies down and stays quiet, so it's
not often a serious problem.
 
Last night, however, he saw her coming.  He rolled his eyes, tucked his
tail, and RAN for the sofa.  Unfortunately, the sofa was currently occupied
by a male guest at the time.  So the hundred pound dog makes a mad leap
into the guest's lap, with Pandora hot on his heels.  His paw went straight
into, shall we say, a sensitive spot on the male guest.  The guest howled
in pain and pushed Ogre off his lap.  Ogre's front end hit the floor, his
back end stayed in the guest's lap, the guest is pushing him off and Ogre's
trying to back up into his lap again because Pandora's going for his nose,
but he can't quite make it back up, so finally he comes down to the floor
again.  He sprints across the room, Pandora darting in and out between his
legs; he's high-stepping trying to avoid her, and leaps LEAPS into my lap
(I'm the mommy, so he knows I'll protect him from The Big Bad Ferret
Monster).  Of course, I happen to be sitting in a tiny little armchair.
So now, picture me in the little chair with the humongous dog perched
precariously, trembling in my lap (I'm completely hidden under/behind him,
of course), frantically licking my face while Pandora leaps futilely at the
chair trying to get at him (until her attention span wanes-- about thirty
seconds).
 
The poor dog probably has a complex because, as I consoled him, everybody
else was laughing at my "wussy dog".
[Posted in FML issue 2477]