Just had to share what happened last night. Ogre is my big, 100+ pound ten year old boxer/pitbull cross-- and the nicest sweetest dog you'd ever want to meet. He's being terrorized by my 1&1/2 pound Most Perfect Ferret In The Whole Wide World, Pandora. My husband has trained Ogre to jump on the couch and lie down when the ferrets are out, using the new "High Ground, Ogre, High Ground!" command he came up with. Last night Ogre made the mistake of standing up on the floor while the ferrets were out. Instantly, Pandora focused on her prey. You've got to picture this tiny, panda-colored cuteness attacking this huge, eye-rolling terrified dog; it looks like a fox attacking a buffalo. She nips his ankles and leaps up on his knees and bites him. She doesn't draw blood, and she ignores him if he lies down and stays quiet, so it's not often a serious problem. Last night, however, he saw her coming. He rolled his eyes, tucked his tail, and RAN for the sofa. Unfortunately, the sofa was currently occupied by a male guest at the time. So the hundred pound dog makes a mad leap into the guest's lap, with Pandora hot on his heels. His paw went straight into, shall we say, a sensitive spot on the male guest. The guest howled in pain and pushed Ogre off his lap. Ogre's front end hit the floor, his back end stayed in the guest's lap, the guest is pushing him off and Ogre's trying to back up into his lap again because Pandora's going for his nose, but he can't quite make it back up, so finally he comes down to the floor again. He sprints across the room, Pandora darting in and out between his legs; he's high-stepping trying to avoid her, and leaps LEAPS into my lap (I'm the mommy, so he knows I'll protect him from The Big Bad Ferret Monster). Of course, I happen to be sitting in a tiny little armchair. So now, picture me in the little chair with the humongous dog perched precariously, trembling in my lap (I'm completely hidden under/behind him, of course), frantically licking my face while Pandora leaps futilely at the chair trying to get at him (until her attention span wanes-- about thirty seconds). The poor dog probably has a complex because, as I consoled him, everybody else was laughing at my "wussy dog". [Posted in FML issue 2477]