I've been reading the money discussion when I can get on, and it seems
to me that some of the people getting flamed were just saying that they
GENERALLY dislike it when people ask for money WHEN THE CIRCUMSTANCES COULD
EASILY HAVE BEEN AVOIDED, not that they are screaming about any particular
situation or individual.  We all know that sometimes personal disasters
can't be avoided, but that other times they can be avoided with careful
money management.  Having some relatives who regularly let essential slip
while they got themselves luxuries (and would then hit relatives up for
the cost of the essentials) I know that some folks kind of view money as a
resource which they channel, rather than as someone else's savings toward
a safe future.  My suspicion is that the general statements made reflect
knowledge that such situations and people exist, and that they are NOT
insults which were directed at any one individual.  Hey, once burned,
twice shy.
 
So, relax.  People have had their say.  Let's let this topic rest for a
while.  Those who listened will have learned other opinions, and those who
didn't listen to either side will not have learned anything, but will
continue not learning as long as they continue not listening so it won't do
any good to continue the topic unless someone has new information which is
constructive.
 
Oh, L., we actually HAVE loaned someone here some cash through a hard haul,
but she is someone we know reasonably well, we didn't charge interest, we
were paid back in full over a year's time, and she's beautifully pulled
things together once she got over a nasty hump and is aiming to be
debt-free which is an excellent goal toward the safest future for her
furries and herself.  On the other hand, we helped someone else out here
once only to have the person shortly after that take the kind of vacation
we don't feel we can justify for ourselves.  We also once helped someone
big time toward a medical emergency with the person promising us a kit
later in thanks and never heard from her again, not even a thank you
letter, though her vet had the kindness she lacked and said thank you.
(Yes, this is a real and respectable vet; we checked.) That left us feeling
very raw.  For the most part we also give to the charities which we know
provide consistent excellent uses for our cash: shelters and their vet
accounts, Morris Animal Foundation, AMC, the legalization efforts, etc.
Money is a limited resource so we have to use some care.
[Posted in FML issue 2812]