Hi all,
Many of you have already gone through the heart breaking, gut
wrenching experience of losing your beloved ferret. And unfortunately
I have joined your ranks, all too soon, in my book! Since I was
already posting many other places that a lot of us already subscribe
too regarding the troubles I was experiencing I felt it may be a bit
redundant. But here is what I posted at the end:
Josie leaves for a new adventure
At least that's what I keep telling myself.
She's gone.
MY tiny brilliant companion is now a star on the horizon. NEVER have I
ever had an animal creep into my heart the way she weaseled into mine.
She was my constant companion for miles and miles, hours and hours,
driving, walking, playing, digging, and snoozing for just a year, but
it felt like we'd grown up together!
SHe knew my moods, I knew hers, she'd seek me out when things were too
quiet, and I'd seek her. Even though she was deaf, I SWEAR she could
"hear" me move about the house. She knew every time I slipped into the
"forbidden room" and would race me to the door! SOmetimes succeeding
in slipping into this new realm and chuckling all the while.
Persistantly trying to goad me into games. Scratching at my feet or my
scalp to get me moving. Willing to jump into any open bag and go for a
swing! Hiding in the bag and playing POP goes the weasel.
Creeping under my blanket to attack my toes in a bid to wake me at all
hours, whenever it suioted her to play some more!
Begging for handouts and treats when I fixed dinner. She was a wizz
at learning new tricks and became my shadow. If I moved to the sewing
room, within minutes, she was there too. If I stepped into the
bathroom, she trotted along too - of course climbing into my dropped
drawers and having a grand time! If I went outside and didn't take
her, as soon as I came back in the house, she'd run up to me and sniff
all over, investigating where I'd been!
Nothing escaped her vigilance - her dark little eyes peering into mine
from across the room. Begging for water dribbles and putting her paws
on each side of my face to direct me properly.
GOing bonkers in her rice bin, and war dancing into walls. Running
backwards as quiclkly as she could forwards. DOing flying leaps at me,
knowing I'd catch her in mid air and then racing me down the hall way.
Surfing through the dewy grass. Snorkeling in the beach sand or garden
dirt, coming up with her face all dirty up to her ears! ,"Hey MOM!
Watch this! MOM? MOM? Are ya watching?"
The house is eerily quiet now.
Fozzy met me at the door when I came home tonight after the long
horrible day. He sniffed Josie and nosed her to say his good byes.
Faylene came over and at first came to Josie's cozy in attack mode -
but suddenly got very small, quiet and scrunched down, Looking nervous
and back and forth, then sniffed Josie and slowly backed away.
DO I trully know what went wrong? No, only that Josie's abdominal
cavity and the pleural cavity were filling with fluids according to X-
rays. The Radiographs showed only a dime sized area of unrestricted
lung on the left and maybe two dimes worth on the right!
Vet tapped the fluid, it was very bloody serum. He drew a lotout, but
still no change in her distress. He seems to think it was something
she'd been born with, possibly fighting for a long time, but able to
keep it at bay until this diarhhea & bacteria stressed her system.
I couldn't bring myself to request a necropsy. And he said it may
not ever tell us what was the cause. Said could be many things and
mentioned Lymphosarcoma cancer & bacteremia, something else, but I was
distracted. Siad her baseling blood test taken in May had a couple
things which caused him to raise an eyebrow, but nothing he considered
a red flag, certainly nothing indicating anemia, if anything , totally
the opposite, he said. I took this to mean she had either ahigh red
cell count or had high iron. But he didn't elaborate and I wasn't
pushing very hard at that point.With such a strong amount of blood
in the tapped serum, her prognosis wasn't good at all.
SO I had to make the hard decision everyone dreads.
He gave her the shot for that final sleep in her abdomen. He said it
may take a little extra time to be absorbed due to her issues. I held
her in my arms. Singing her favorite songs and talking to her. Telling
her if she knew her job was done here and just had to go, then she was
free to leave. I love her and wished she stayed, but knew sometimes it
isn't possible. She looked at me and gave me the last kisses I'll ever
get from her.
Then her half closed eyes brightened up, her ears perked forward, she
wiggled upwards and forward in my arms, her tail POOFED and she dooked
twice happily at something only she could see. I kissed her on her
forehead and thanked her for bringing so much joy into my life at a
time when I really needed it. TOld her I'd miss her and always love
her. She settled back down into my arms and left on her new journey.
I hope she can hear where she is now. I only wish she could have heard
me tell her I love her - so she knows my voice when I call on her
later.
All the joys Josie brought to me are gone, never to be experienced
again. I miss her now, I'll always miss her, many of my friends will
miss her.
I've decided to bury her in a planter that I can take with me if and
when I move to another apartment. A good ferret friend suggested having
a nice wooden coffin built for her to place within the planter, under
the plant, my neighbor is a wood worker and knew Josie well, he'd
probably be willing to build it. Another friend is offering me a pot
and a plant that attracts butterflies.
I can't bear the thought of leaving her behind as I've had to do with
several other buried pets. There is just something extraordinary about
this little ferret, she has become a part of me and needs to remain a
part of me. I think I'll bury her in her red Party dress - after all
she's off to the biggest party ever now!
I miss you Josie, I love you my dearest little ferret. Have fun on your
new adventure!
Thanks everyone for your kind wishes and prayers - sometimes those with
more authority, trump our small voices and claim the ones that are
needed elsewhere.
Regards, Kim
Here are pix of my footwork:
http://photos.yahoo.com/forgewizard
This is what I do when I am not under a horse:
www.vanityferret.com
To see what I'm always talking about please visit:
http://www.horseshoes.com/forums/index.php?referrerid=1210
[Posted in FML 5683]
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