Regarding the Spokane incident, my gut feeling is that if Jean were of such
a psychopathological nature that she could murder the near lot of her own
ferrets, someone would have let slip a comment (in personal e-mails or phone
calls from people who had been corresponding to me about Jean) that she was
a little, or a lot "off".  All I heard was that she was incredibly
devestated and in shock.  Again, my gut feeling is that someone who could do
such a thing as spend the time it must have taken to murder by stabbing
these sweet, innocent and helplessly screaming creatures, would be of a
stoney-faced, stoney-hearted nature.  (Okay, I'm not forgetting the extreme
exceptions such as Ted Bundy, whose mien is more mirrored in Lance, I'll
bet, than Jean).  Could someone capable of such horrid mayhem nurse her
babies back to health, driving them back and forth to the faraway vets and
administering medication after medication toward their health?  Could it
have been out of guilt?  I don't think so.  Unless there is a split
personality involved which, again, I think would have come out at some point
in time with the people who physically visited and helped Jean.
 
I realize this is pseudo-psychology at its worst, if looked at as such;
please just consider this my gut reaction based on what I've read.
 
Somehow, I think it is more likely that the youngster with all the prior
problems and the purported political fire in his family (or so I've heard)
to defend him, is the better bet for the crime.  When political power asks
for help, some parameter of excuse is needed to meet the request, such as a
polygraph.  My gut says the guy walked cause he's connected; and the only
way to get him to walk without a huge fallout from the community was to find
something pseudo-legitimate to hang his release on - the polygraph - and a
suitable replacement suspect - Jean - who was also at the crime scene, if
later.
 
On a lighter note, what about F A R T S?
 
>If we put all this together, I should like to suggest that the economical
>(but limited) acronym FIRS be abandoned for the more definitive verbiage:
>Ferret Auditory Response Tendency Syndrome.  If we submit this verbiage to
>acronymises, we arrive at the acronym, F A R T S.  Oh dear - what have I
>done?
 
Oh Ed!  (Again, the rising "Oh" and the crashing "Ed")... I have to admit I
got a laugh out of this post.
 
>Now we have an acronym that has onomatopoeia, or more nearly so than FIRS.
>Does not F A R T S suggest acoustic energy, a sound of sorts?  Surely you
>must agree it does.  However, we must guard against relating F A R T S to
>any olfactory(sniff sniff) perceptions, as some may want to do.
 
OH ED!
 
>the pursuit of F A R T S will henceforth receive a heightened priority in
>the Ferret Frolics/Olympics... The first three place winners will receive a
>Certificate of Ferret Merit with their ferret's specialty clearly defined
>on the Ferret Merit Certificate.
 
So, I'm supposed to go to work the next day and say my handsome Tarzan won
the F A R T S contest?!
 
>This will be accomplished by the sounding of a screaming rabbit call,
>immediately behind the owner with his totally becalmed ferret in his arms.
>The response of the ferret will be intensely monitored, not only by the
>ferret's total bodily reaction, but also by measuring and recording the
>ferret's heart rate
 
I don't know.  That might scare the beejeezus out of farts, I mean ferts.
You played that horn, I mean predator call, into the phone for me and it was
the scariest sound - seriously!  - I've ever heard!  It's awful!!  Like the
guts of hell being released in a single scream.  If you proceed with this
you might want to have a little and large CPR kit handy.
 
Looking forward to June, though, and hearing you announce the "F A R T S"
contest, knowing that you will re-explain the acronym with each contestant.
Will there be a human component to this event?
 
Still shaking my head in bufuddled amusement...
 
Sign me: Little Lynn, as you've called me since about 1991 -- have you
noticed I've grown?
 
Ferret,  I mean Lynn, McIntosh
 
P.S.  Wow... 3,000 FML subscribers!  What a testament to the great things
you do for us, Bill.  Thank you, Thank you, Thank you... L.
[Posted in FML issue 2269]