Are you a balding man?  Ladies, do you have a bare pated husband?  Do you
also have a shedding ferret?  People, I'm here to tell you that I have the
answer to the above dilemmas.  You can create a teeny tiny little 'rug'
from the shedded ferret hair and apply it to the hairless head.
 
Honest!  I am not making this up!  Do I look like Dave Berry to you?  Here
is how to make 'rugs' from ferret hair.  First, you need a surface that
will produce static electricity.  Really, this is important.  What it does
is to both suck down, and flare out the hairs.  Next you obviously need a
ferret.  One that has hair ready to be shed is preferable.  Those whose
hair is not in shed-mode will become a tad testy if they are used for this
'rug' making thing.  As hair is pulled from the ferret, hold it over the
static producing surface.  You will see the hairs respond to the electrical
energy and fan out.  Let them go and they will flatten them selves against
the surface.  Repeat until you have enough hair to make a nice 'rug', or
the ferret decides enough is enough and takes a chomp from some part of
you.
 
Now, lift up your pad of ferret hair.  It will somewhat resemble a furry
cow plop, although flatter.  Now carry it to a hair challenged head.  If it
is your own head, you might want the aid of a mirror.  If it is for someone
else's head, I'd hold off on letting them have a mirror for a while!  And,
if the head you originally select appears cranky, just go find another one.
One hairless head is about the same as the next one.  It is good, but not
essential, to somewhat match the color of the ferret to the color of
whatever hair came with the head.  Push, pull, tug, tilt, pat.  You've
about got it.  Anyway, quit while you're ahead!
 
Now quick, grab the camera.  If the recipient of your grand gesture asks
about the mirror, stonewall like crazy till you get those photos taken.  In
fact, you might want to consider having your car keys handy, and hand them
the mirror as you head out the door to the Walmart One Hour!
 
And if all the fun you can have around your own house with a ferret shedded
hair 'rug' isn't enough for you, take your show on the road.  At work,
there are usually a few heads in need of a boost.  Some of us actually
have bosses who will allow us to photograph them in ferret hair!  I am not
kidding, I will have the pictures tomorrow!
 
For only $15.00, payable to any shelter, I will provide pictures of either
my husband, Percy, or my boss, Gary, wearing hair of Neugi.  In fact, I'm
feeling sooooo generous, I'll make it 2 pix for $25.00.
 
Georgia - who thinks she must have drank some very strange water....
[Posted in FML issue 3073]