Hi guys.  I'm starting to get some things straightened out here.  This
post is actually going to be written throughout the day (maybe even a
few days)  I'm trying not to push myself into doing too much all at once
dealing with Calix because I can only think about him so much before I
start crying again.  I apologize if things are repeated or not
necessarily in chronological order, but I can't reread this again right
now.  This should be the majority of the info I want to send...and I will
get pictures up sometime soon.  I'll have to go back through my other
posts to remember which pictures I promised I would put up ^.^ I hope
these words help you to really know who Calix was...because he was
perfect!  I don't know why anyone else wouldn't have wanted him.  Thanks
for reading all my stuff and thanks to everyone who has expressed
sympathy at this sad time in our lives.
 
October 17th, 2005 9:00 PM
Calix Naveen passed away in my arms at mom's house.  At 5 pm he went in
for a blood transfusion, and we got home about 730 pm.  Went to mom's by
830 pm and had dinner.  Pulled Calix out of the carrier and sat on the
couch and he took his last breath in my arms.  He knew he could go and
I knew it was time.  Samweis and Dewey were the lucky blood donors for
Calix and they did extremely well and I was so proud of them.  I put
the towel that Calix passed away in in the fert room and Samweis, Dewey,
Lupi, Snap, Skittles, and Gandalf all curled up on it in rememberance.
We all miss Calix very much, but he is so much better now.  He can hear
now, so he's finally learning what a krinkle sack sounds like.  He's also
up there with Pixie and Xanth and Pixie and Calix can finally hear what
each other sounds like.  Calix is now whole and healthy and bouncing
joyfully around.  He has no incision marks, puncture marks from needles,
and his blood is his and he's got all his organs.  He's not in pain, and
he's enjoying the bridge.  He is most likely looking for his little blue
rubber dog toy, but I'll be sure to put it in with his ashes so he never
has to steal it back from anyone ever again...it's his forever.  The last
song I heard today was "Homesick" by Mercy Me.  The lyrics are:
 
You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you
But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you
 
I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now
 
Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways
The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I'm still here so far away from home
 
I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now
 
In Christ, there are no goodbye
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again
To see you again
 
And I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
 
I've never been more homesick than now
 
We did take him in on the 17th to get a blood transfusion.  He got blood
from our Dewey and Sammy.  They were awake and trying to dig out of the
carrier even before we left the clinic, but Calix took a while longer to
wake up obviously.  He gave me a few more hours of his precious life
before he went to be with Xanth and Pixie again.  We decided we would not
do a necropsy on him like we did with the others because we had already
determined basically what was wrong and I couldn't bear the thought of
letting them cut him open or poke him yet again.  I just wanted him to be
finally at peace.  So he went straight out for cremation.  I feel blessed
that the lady at the after hours clinic was actually the same lady that
works the desk at our normal vet's office.  She just recently started
working there, was still learning the computers and everything.  God put
her in that place for us, I know he did...just knowing she would take
care of things gave both Adrian and myself much comfort.  The only thing
she left us to do was to pick up his ashes from the vet's office...she
took care of the calls and everything.  Our first baby that we lost,
Xanth, we lost on a Friday night, I believe, and at the time I was
working at a vet's clinic in the kennel.  Adrian and I had to put
Xanthiepoo in a bag and in the refrigerator...no pet parent should ever
have to do this for their own kids.  I've vowed never to do it again for
my babies...that's one reason we took Calix to the after hours clinic
last night...I knew he was gone, but I couldn't do what needed to be done
so I let them do it.  I know now that Calix was dying in my arms, but at
the time he did give me a smile.  This may sound sick or sad but I can't
help it...his last few breaths sounded cute, but I didn't know they were
his last until after the fact.  I will never forget the sound...I loved
him so much.  Little things like that I will forever remember.
 
I was so glad that Calix allowed me to have my time so close to him.  As
a baby he never wanted to be touched or held.  So when he got sick,
that's all I ever did was hold him and rub him and kiss him.  Guess he
knew I wanted to make up for lost time and he was letting me.  Calix was
my pretty boy, my little man, my sweet boy.  He came into this world as
a blaze and went out as an angel in white.  When he died, his big black
eyes were looking right at me and they told me that everything was okay,
that he was better and that he was with family.  I miss him so much, but
I know I'll see him again.  The only comfort I have is knowing that he's
better and that I still have 9 little fuzzbutts to love and care for.  I
have to go on if only for them...Calix knows I will be along shortly, but
not just yet.  I love you Calico, you were a crazy, wonderful ferret.
 
Now on to the happy times!  Calix came to us in Atlanta when he was about
6 months old.  He actually came from a petstore, yes, bad me, but he and
the others were biters (in fact, Calix was bought and returned the week
before) and they were going to send them back...so we had to save this
little man...although within the next two weeks we went back and got the
other two as well...Snap & Pearl ^.^ Adrian and I, at the time, were
working for RGIS Inventory and were counting that store when we first met
Calix.  We went back the next day to get him.  Once we got him home he
quit biting immediately...he just needed some play time and a good
family.  He also quickly picked out his favorite toy...anything rubber!
He also had a field day with our feet when we wore socks...so we learned
not to have socks on in the fert room...well, I did anyway, Adrian just
took the attacks.  Calix would dig out videos from our multimedia rack
and start chewing on the rubber feet that held the shelves up.  He would
hang from them with his teeth (we actually have a picture of this).
Toward the end of his short life, he would stash his favorite rubber
toys and lay on them for a few minutes as if he were resting...which he
probably was now that I look back on it.  He was my pretty boy, my
Calico.  He was the only ferret who was ever SND...he was our first and
he scared the crap out of us the first couple of times.  Now Sammy has
taken over Calix's role of SND, at least part of the time.  Sammy is also
our new alpha male, so he has to be alert too.  Calix would have been 3
yrs old in November.  Calix absolutely loved raisins, he even would bob
for raisins over and over if it meant that he got them all.
 
The next day was such a beautiful day that I began thinking God made it
so wonderful because Calix was making him so happy in heaven.  It's
wonderful...cool in the shade, warm not hot in the sun, slight breeze
here and there, not a cloud in the perfect blue sky...smell of fresh air,
not smog, quiet and peaceful...birds chirping beautifully Calix wants me
to be happy.  I love you my sweet baby.
[Posted in FML issue 5037]