Hi guys. I'm starting to get some things straightened out here. This post is actually going to be written throughout the day (maybe even a few days) I'm trying not to push myself into doing too much all at once dealing with Calix because I can only think about him so much before I start crying again. I apologize if things are repeated or not necessarily in chronological order, but I can't reread this again right now. This should be the majority of the info I want to send...and I will get pictures up sometime soon. I'll have to go back through my other posts to remember which pictures I promised I would put up ^.^ I hope these words help you to really know who Calix was...because he was perfect! I don't know why anyone else wouldn't have wanted him. Thanks for reading all my stuff and thanks to everyone who has expressed sympathy at this sad time in our lives. October 17th, 2005 9:00 PM Calix Naveen passed away in my arms at mom's house. At 5 pm he went in for a blood transfusion, and we got home about 730 pm. Went to mom's by 830 pm and had dinner. Pulled Calix out of the carrier and sat on the couch and he took his last breath in my arms. He knew he could go and I knew it was time. Samweis and Dewey were the lucky blood donors for Calix and they did extremely well and I was so proud of them. I put the towel that Calix passed away in in the fert room and Samweis, Dewey, Lupi, Snap, Skittles, and Gandalf all curled up on it in rememberance. We all miss Calix very much, but he is so much better now. He can hear now, so he's finally learning what a krinkle sack sounds like. He's also up there with Pixie and Xanth and Pixie and Calix can finally hear what each other sounds like. Calix is now whole and healthy and bouncing joyfully around. He has no incision marks, puncture marks from needles, and his blood is his and he's got all his organs. He's not in pain, and he's enjoying the bridge. He is most likely looking for his little blue rubber dog toy, but I'll be sure to put it in with his ashes so he never has to steal it back from anyone ever again...it's his forever. The last song I heard today was "Homesick" by Mercy Me. The lyrics are: You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry Is how long must I wait to be with you I close my eyes and I see your face If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow I've never been more homesick than now Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same Cause I'm still here so far away from home I close my eyes and I see your face If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow I've never been more homesick than now In Christ, there are no goodbye And in Christ, there is no end So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have To see you again To see you again And I close my eyes and I see your face If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow I've never been more homesick than now We did take him in on the 17th to get a blood transfusion. He got blood from our Dewey and Sammy. They were awake and trying to dig out of the carrier even before we left the clinic, but Calix took a while longer to wake up obviously. He gave me a few more hours of his precious life before he went to be with Xanth and Pixie again. We decided we would not do a necropsy on him like we did with the others because we had already determined basically what was wrong and I couldn't bear the thought of letting them cut him open or poke him yet again. I just wanted him to be finally at peace. So he went straight out for cremation. I feel blessed that the lady at the after hours clinic was actually the same lady that works the desk at our normal vet's office. She just recently started working there, was still learning the computers and everything. God put her in that place for us, I know he did...just knowing she would take care of things gave both Adrian and myself much comfort. The only thing she left us to do was to pick up his ashes from the vet's office...she took care of the calls and everything. Our first baby that we lost, Xanth, we lost on a Friday night, I believe, and at the time I was working at a vet's clinic in the kennel. Adrian and I had to put Xanthiepoo in a bag and in the refrigerator...no pet parent should ever have to do this for their own kids. I've vowed never to do it again for my babies...that's one reason we took Calix to the after hours clinic last night...I knew he was gone, but I couldn't do what needed to be done so I let them do it. I know now that Calix was dying in my arms, but at the time he did give me a smile. This may sound sick or sad but I can't help it...his last few breaths sounded cute, but I didn't know they were his last until after the fact. I will never forget the sound...I loved him so much. Little things like that I will forever remember. I was so glad that Calix allowed me to have my time so close to him. As a baby he never wanted to be touched or held. So when he got sick, that's all I ever did was hold him and rub him and kiss him. Guess he knew I wanted to make up for lost time and he was letting me. Calix was my pretty boy, my little man, my sweet boy. He came into this world as a blaze and went out as an angel in white. When he died, his big black eyes were looking right at me and they told me that everything was okay, that he was better and that he was with family. I miss him so much, but I know I'll see him again. The only comfort I have is knowing that he's better and that I still have 9 little fuzzbutts to love and care for. I have to go on if only for them...Calix knows I will be along shortly, but not just yet. I love you Calico, you were a crazy, wonderful ferret. Now on to the happy times! Calix came to us in Atlanta when he was about 6 months old. He actually came from a petstore, yes, bad me, but he and the others were biters (in fact, Calix was bought and returned the week before) and they were going to send them back...so we had to save this little man...although within the next two weeks we went back and got the other two as well...Snap & Pearl ^.^ Adrian and I, at the time, were working for RGIS Inventory and were counting that store when we first met Calix. We went back the next day to get him. Once we got him home he quit biting immediately...he just needed some play time and a good family. He also quickly picked out his favorite toy...anything rubber! He also had a field day with our feet when we wore socks...so we learned not to have socks on in the fert room...well, I did anyway, Adrian just took the attacks. Calix would dig out videos from our multimedia rack and start chewing on the rubber feet that held the shelves up. He would hang from them with his teeth (we actually have a picture of this). Toward the end of his short life, he would stash his favorite rubber toys and lay on them for a few minutes as if he were resting...which he probably was now that I look back on it. He was my pretty boy, my Calico. He was the only ferret who was ever SND...he was our first and he scared the crap out of us the first couple of times. Now Sammy has taken over Calix's role of SND, at least part of the time. Sammy is also our new alpha male, so he has to be alert too. Calix would have been 3 yrs old in November. Calix absolutely loved raisins, he even would bob for raisins over and over if it meant that he got them all. The next day was such a beautiful day that I began thinking God made it so wonderful because Calix was making him so happy in heaven. It's wonderful...cool in the shade, warm not hot in the sun, slight breeze here and there, not a cloud in the perfect blue sky...smell of fresh air, not smog, quiet and peaceful...birds chirping beautifully Calix wants me to be happy. I love you my sweet baby. [Posted in FML issue 5037]