My husband and I have only been subscribers for about 2 wks.  We are former
ferret owners (sadly).  We lost our wonderful, tremendously loved sable
ferret to adenocarcinoma on 4/10/93.  We are still grieving for him.  His
name was Meeshur Butterscotch Bubb (Meeshur Bubb).  He was between 8 and 9
years old when he died.  We had battled the cancer for about 3 years before
we had to put him to sleep.  I am writing for 2 reasons.
 
Firstly, to thank all of you ferret owners out there.  We love to read about
all your little fuzzy rascals.  It brings back so many joyous memories for
us, and yes, a few tears remembering our happy times.  Secondly, a warning.
Our ferrets cancer started off with a small (pea sized) knot on the end of
his tail.  His veterinarian thought it to be suspicious and recommended we
amputate a portion of his tail.  Of course we did, and were glad.  The knot
turned out to be a particularly nasty form of cancer.  Meeshur Bubb was fine
for a few years and then we felt another lump, and yet another.  We had
these removed and they too were unfortunately malignant.  We kept a very
close eye on him.  We regularly "rubbed him down" for lumps.  Almost
overnight, at the most a few weeks, he developed about 9 lumps all at once.
There were so many we had to draw a "map" of him and outline all of the
lumps for the veterinarian.  He had surgery to remove all of the lumps.
(Did I mention that along with these problems he had cataracts in both
eyes?) After the last surgery he never was quite up to par again.  He was
not as playful and slept quite a bit.  He also was not the eater he had been
previously and didn't even want his favorites, bananas and creamer (yes, I
know thats a no-no but he was soo cute when he begged).  About 2 wks after
the surgery one evening his breathing became very labored, and his sides
appeared to be sunken in.  We made an emergency call to our vet at 12:00 in
the morning and he said he could meet us immediately if we wanted but
unfortunately, it probably wouldn't do much good.  We decided to spend the
night with our little angel and see the vet at 7:00 am the next day (the day
before Easter) We held him all night.  We cried, we prayed, we petted, we
talked to him and told him how much we loved him.  We told him how much an
integral part of our lives he had become.  Morning came and we wrapped our
dear little one in one of his favorite pair of sweatpants and pillow cases
and set out for the vet.  It was only a ten minute drive but it was awful.
My husband and I cried the whole way, Meeshur Bubb sat quietly in my lap, my
tears wetting his fur.  We walked in the office and the receptionist asked
if she could help us, I broke down.  I ran to the restroom with Meeshur Bubb
and sat in the floor and cried.  My husband spoke with the vet and he took
us back immediately.  He examined Meeshur Bubb and it was as bad as we
thought.  He was having extreme difficulty breathing and was no doubt
suffering a great deal.  There was nothing further to do, nothing at all
that could be done.  The cancer had ravaged his little body, attacking his
entire lymph system.  I have always believed and will always believe it
would have been easier if he would have just died.  Having to make the
decision to put your little one to sleep is gut wrenching.  You know they
are suffering but how, how can you say "Yes, do it" Through sobs we told the
vet yes, it was the only humane choice.  My husband was crying and I was
nearly hysterical.  He told us we could go back and be with him.  We tried.
They explained first they would sedate him and then would administer the
euthanizing agent.  When I saw him looking up at me with that little mask on
his face I thought I was the one dying, not him.  Like a coward, I bolted
from the room.  I could not stand thinking he was thinking I was doing this
to him.  Not having the courage to stand by his side to the very end has
haunted me ever since.  It is one of the biggest regrets of my life.  He was
leaving this earth and I was literally laying in the examining room floor
sobbing hysterically.  My husband followed me when I ran out.  We were both
consumed with unbelievable grief.  Finally after what seemed an eternity,
the vet brought us our little angel, wrapped up in his sweatpants and pillow
case.  I took him in my arms and held him with the utmost of care.  We were
still crying so very much and we were trying to thank the vet for all he had
done.  I guess he could feel our grief because tears started rolling down
his face and he simply said "I am so sorry" and left the room.  We rode in
silence to the pet cemetary.  We took care of all the details, and made
plans to return the next day for burial.  We spent the night crying, asking
why, and every once in a while smiling at memories.  My husband and I went
the following day (actually no, it must have been 2 days after he died
because the day after he died was Easter).  We took the day off work and
paid respect to our little one.  A lot of people thought we were
nuts...$2500.00 in medical bills, $325.00 to bury him, a day off work....all
for a ferret???  YES!!!  We loved him with all of our hearts and would have
paid every dime we had to make him well or to have him in our arms again.  A
feeling I am sure you all understand.  I hope this mail makes the cut
because this is the first time I have been able to really share all of this.
I know it is lengthy...I didnt intend for it to be this long but it turned
out to be very cathartic.  We still grieve for Meeshur Bubb.  We visit his
grave regularly.  We now refer to him as "Meeshur Spooky Bubb" and say he is
a little ferret ghost who hangs around with us.  We were recently blessed
with a son (now 6 months old).  We cant wait to tell him Meeshur Bubb
stories and teach him about the precious little creatures.  And, when he is
old enough to treat it with respect, get him one of his own.  (At the moment
he has a stuffed "Mommy Fert" and a "Baby Fert" we purchased from the WWF
catalog).  Our son LOVES to chew on their tails and suck their ears...we
definitely need to wait awhile to get him the real thing!  We imagine
Meeshur Bubb would have loved to dig at his diapers and steal his teething
rings!  Anyway, Godspeed to all of you.  Your stories warm our hearts and
bring back wonderful memories.  Remember everday to cherish your little
fuzzbutts, they truly are treasures.  Thanks for listening.
[Posted in FML issue 1556]