Hello
 
I've been writing about my Angel for the last 1 1/2 months, we thought she
had heart disease and maybe liver disease but she was far more sick than
we'd ever imagined.  I still can't believe she's gone.  I'm writing her
story down here, I hope you don't mind, it might be long.
 
It started on Friday the 6th of June when Angel had a swollen tummy at
night.  It came so suddenly, I mean maybe the fluid had built up gradually
over a few days but the majority came suddenly on the Friday.  I was worried
but didn't think it was the beginning of the end.  I went to the vet Sunday,
I thought maybe the tummy would go down but it didn't so I got worried on
Sunday and saw the emergency vet.  He did a scan to confirm that she had
fluid in her abdomen.  At this point he gave her an antibiotic injection in
case it was an inflammation of the liver.
 
Monday Angel had a blood test done and the ascites was also tested, the vet
did the blood test the same day and it suggested some kind of liver disease.
The ascites was almost as red as the blood and was sent away, when the
report came back it said it could be cancer (of the liver) or heart disease.
My veterinary surgery has a few vets and the all thought it was something
else, the vet who does the scans did another one on Angel and said he could
see something on the liver.  My vet Mr Batten said he could hear some
irregularity of the heart and thought it might be heart disease.  So Angel
was put on diuretics for the ascites and on heart tablets in case it was the
heart.  A German ferret vet I asked said I should try heart tablets, she
also had the test results and said they didn't look good and if it was liver
cancer then Angel would have 2 more weeks to live.
 
On Sunday the 14th of June, Angel had her first bad phase, I found her limp
in the cage and suspected that she hadn't eaten or drunk all night long so
I syringe fed her rehydrate drink and also Ensure and she became stronger
during the day.  Over the next few days she didn't touch food but would
drink Ensure on her own as long as I held her and held the warmed Ensure in
front of her.  On Monday 15th she also got a liver stimulant injection to
increase her appetite and to help her liver which was supposed to be sick
according to the blood test results.  On the 16th she started with her heart
tablets and I started the frusemide properly, I had stopped it when I found
her on the Sunday.  By Thursday, when she got another liver injection, she
started eating again, she ate Whiskas Complete and I was so happy to see her
eat and bounce back.
 
On Monday 22nd she got yet another liver injection and by Thursday her
activity had increased noticeably- I thought the heart medicine started to
work properly.  Friday 26th I had Angel x-rayed to confirm that it was the
heart- I sent those x-rays off to the German ferret vet because my vets
couldn't say if it was normal or not because they'd never seen a ferret
heart.  The German vet said that the heart was enlarged and not in the
middle of the chest but more towards the bottom of the chest and was rounded
rather that properly heart shaped.  So I was happy that Angel obviously had
a disease that could be treated and that allowed her to live for another
couple of years.
 
On Monday 29th Angel even ate ferret food when I let her play with the
others in the ferret room.  Until then she had been in a cage in the lounge
during the day and up in my bedroom at night.  So for the next few days I
left Angel with the others during the day as she ate well and looked happy.
 
But on Friday 3rd of July, Angel went downhill again.  She slowly stopped
eating again and I gave her Whiskas cat milk with cream in it to put weight
back on her (she had lost so much weight when she stopped eating) and I
bought a milk powder that is used for hand rearing kittens, I thought that
would have all the nutrition Angel needed.  And she got bigger amounts of
Ferretvite as well.  I also started feeding her through the night because I
felt she couldn't afford to loose any more weight.
 
On Monday the 6th she got another liver injection that we had stopped when
she was so well because we thought it was the heart medicine that was making
her better.  On Tuesday I cooked some chicken for Angel and she ate a few
pieces, on Wednesday she ate some more chicken and some Whiskas kitten food
and Thursday she ate more Whiskas kitten and got another liver injection.
Friday she ate some tinned cat food with gravy, Friday was also the day my
friend Karen came to visit.  And Angel still got Whiskas cat milk and the
kitten milk while she ate as she didn't eat that much.
 
But by Saturday Angel looked worse again, she didn't eat, only drank Whiskas
and the kitten milk when I held her and held her bowl in front of her.
Monday I had to syringe feed her as she didn't want to drink anything but
she didn't fight when I fed her.  By 10.00 p.m.  Angel looked poorly, so bad
that I thought I would have to have her put to sleep the next morning.  But
when I looked at midnight, she looked extremely ill, to the point where she
was suffering.  She breathed 120 times a minute rather than 30-40 times so I
went downstairs, shaking, and picked up the phone and phoned the emergency
vet, I thought I could ask calmly if he could meet me at the surgery and put
Angel to sleep but then I was crying on the phone but he understood me.  I
went upstairs to get Angel and felt so sick suddenly when it hit me that I'd
decided to end my little girl's life.  Then Karen and I drove to the vet.
 
Continued in next post (part 2).  [Posts combined. BIG]
 
We arrived around 1.00 a.m., it was Mr Jones who was on duty, another of my
favourite vets.  He said I did the right thing, he could see that Angel
wasn't well at all.  We went into the operating theatre and Mr Jones got the
Isoflurane ready.  I felt sick again, cried, looked at Angel and stroked
her, read what was written on the bottles around me to distract me.  Then Mr
Jones put the gas mask on Angel's face, she was struggling and didn't want
to breathe the gas, inside I was crying out "No!" and I wanted to say that I
wanted to take her back home and I didn't want her to die but I just cried
and held Angel tight until she drifted off.  Mr Jones then took her off my
lap and put her on the table, I had to go out, I couldn't watch him inject
the overdose of aesthetic or whatever it was into her vein.  The pain inside
me was so bad, so overwhelming so I just sat on the floor and cried.  I did
go back when Angel was dead and said good-bye again, I could see where she
was injected into her neck and there was saliva on the table under her head.
 
I asked Mr Jones if he could do a post mortem and he did it there and then
and the news were shattering.  She was full of cancer.  Mr Jones had never
seen anything like that, there were some bigger tumours, they were a white
mass and when he touched them they fell apart.  And there were little white
tumours the size of a matchstick head and they were lining everything inside
her, intestines etc.  They perforated some of the intestines or organs and
that had caused the blood in the ascites.  There was probably more blood
than fluid in her abdomen.  The liver looked okay... Mr Jones didn't
understand how she could have still been alive, that's how bad it was.  He
just kept saying how amazing it was, what a picture while I stood there numb
with pain.  I didn't take all in what he said and I didn't understand most
of what he said because he used medical words so I don't know if all I said
is correct but I'll write again once the post mortem results come back and
Mr Jones wrote a report.
 
Now I just can't believe she's gone and it hurts so much.  During the day I
try and put on a brave face but there are times when something reminds me
of Angel so much that it brings tears to my eyes.  Like when I'm in the
supermarket and I see things that I bought for Angel while she was sick, it
makes me so sad.  At home and at night I sometimes can't stop crying for
ages, I just want to have her back, I can't believe she was taken away from
me.  What hurts most is that she was my special little girl, I used to say
that she was destined to be with me, she was supposed to be my child but
because I don't want to have children she could only come to me as a ferret.
She was so special and there was such an indescribable bond between us.  And
now she's gone.  And all I can feel now is this incredible pain inside me.
 
I want to thank everybody who has helped me and wrote to me while Angel was
sick, sorry I can't reply to everybody personally.  But every letter I got
was appreciated, special thanks to Marshall Thornton and Sukie Crandall for
their help.
 
Ulrike and the 9 kids
 
--
Missing Angel
 
http://homepages.primex.co.uk/~ferret/
[Posted in FML issue 2378]