Just to inform you ahead of time, there is a "Houdini Claus" that you agree
to every time you take on the responsibility of living with a fert.  It
states (in part) the following:
 
I, (insert my fert name here), to solomnly swear to find any and all method
of escape.  I will steal keys to doors, I will learn to operate heavy
machinery, I will test the strength of any blockade with whatever tools are
at paw.
 
I also swear to make a mad dash for any outer door that is opened.  I
promise to crouch between the feet of all hoomans that are attempting to
enter a "Ferret Free Zone" in order to skitter into that area.  I guarantee
that I will make any and all attempts at an easy capture impossible to
make.  This includes the use of hiding under heavy furniture, running under
desks, dashing behind sofas, beds and dressers and squishing myself to 1/4"
thick so that I can scoot under carpets easier.
****  Excerpted from the "Houdini Claus"  ****
 
Of course, this is only "part" of the entire Claus.  However, I thought
that I'd share this part with you.
 
If you wish to secure the window in question, go to the hardware store and
get some 1/4" square mesh.  Don't get the light, easily bent type.  Get the
heavy gauge size.  Borrow (most hardware stores have a T-50 stapler that
you can borrow for a day or so) a stapler and have the mesh cut for you to
size.  In order to find the size you need, measure the "inside face" of
your window (the side that faces the inside of the house) from about 1"
before the inner edge of the window, to 1" on the other side of the inner
edge of the window (see example below).
 
    -----------------------
    |                     |
    |   ---------------   |
    |   |             |   |    /---Upper Half of Window
    |   |           --|---|---/
    |   |             |  -|--------Inside Face of a Window
    |   |             |   |
    |   |             |   |
    |   |-------------|   |
    |   |-------------|   |
    |   |           --|---|--------Lower Half of Window
    |   |             |---|-\
    |   |-------------|---|--\-----Inner Edges of Window
    |   |             |   |--------Outer Edge of Window
    |   |             |   |
   -------------------------
   |  Window Sill          |
   -------------------------
 
Measure from the crossbar where the upper and lower halfs of the window
meet, down to the window sill.  Add about 1/2" to this measurement.  Have
the mesh cut to size.  Please mesh on the inside of the window, bending the
bottom 1/2" of the mesh to sit flat on the window sill.  Staple in place,
making sure to staple every square to prevent digging!  When finished,
paint mest the same color as the window.  Since your top-to-bottom
measurement doesn't overlap the crossbar, you can open and close your
window easily from the crossbar.
 
NOTE: If your fuzzies find that climbing the mesh is a new hobby, you can
prevent them from sliding behind the mesh by climbing over the top.  To do
this, just install a thin sheet of plexiglas over the top 6" of the mesh.
Be sure to drill two holes on each side to allow screws to be used for
fastening it to the window frame.
 
Todd and the (Hello, Tim the Tool Man?) Fuzzbutt Rodeo Clowns!
 
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[Posted in FML issue 2347]