Hello Everyone.
I've been reading the FML since issue 1197, though I'm picking up the
older editions, and I figured that the best way of introducing the
family is to let them introduce themselves...
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Hi! I'm Snipe. I'm the oldest of the three "royalty" here in the Mathison
House. I used to be "second banana" until a couple of months ago when
Snark died. We all miss him horribly, even if he did like to beat me up on
a regular basis. Mom used to spoil him because he was bald. She would
give him his daily gummy bears and nutri-cal whenever he'd giver her "that
look". He was a "Mitchell Ferret", as is Schnitzell (who looks a lot like
him except that she's got all her fur). Snark was an old ferret
though...the doctor told mom that he was around 10 years old. Me? I just
turned one year old on the 17th, and Schnitzell turned one on the 23rd.
The baby of the family is Tribble, who mom bought to "fill the vaccuum"
that Snark left. Not "replace" him -- there will never be another Snark.
Mom said she named Tribble after a furry critter on Star Trek that he tends
to sound like whenever he plays. I hope they're not as bouncy as our
Tribble! He has only two speeds: "HIGH" and "off". You should see him
jump on our pet cats!
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Schnitzell here. Snipe is such a big, clumsy lummox! I do these graceful
90 degree turns when we play tag...Snipe always ends up skidding into the
walls trying to follow me...<snicker> He's so funny! He sleeps most of the
time though. I'd say he makes an even comfier bed than the hammock under
the recliner in the dining room.
Lessee...my favorite game is "sheet shark". That's where I go under the
human kid's covers and nibble on various portions of his anatomy to see if
I can make him yelp loud enough to wake mom up. While I do this, Tribble
likes to go "toe tasting". He says his favorites are the pinkies, which
helps me win my "sheet shark" game...<evil ferret grin>
I'm really into "Sole Food"! Sneaker soles are probably my favorites,
though mom's shoes are delicious no matter what because she's diabetic and
there's nothing sweeter and more yummy than "diabetic sole food".
I like to play in mazes. "Mom's Mattress" is probably my favorite (when
she isn't looking...<grin>), though "Doug's Closet" is a close second.
Snipe's favorite game is hide and seek (with mom's wallet that is!). One
morning before mom went to work it took her an hour and a half to find it!
Mom originally tried to name me "Muse" because she seemed to think I was
cute, but I quickly showed her! Cute? Nah! Moi? I'm skinny. Slinky
even... I wandered through a tilet paper roll to show her who I really am.
I'm proud to be Schnitzell! I am thin. I am svelt. I am petite. I am
Schnitzell!
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Howdy. <bounce bounce> I'm Tribble. <bounce bounce bounce> Mom should
have called me Tigger. I love to bounce! <bounce bounce> I bounce after
Schnitzell.
<bounce bounce> I bounce after Snipe. <bounce bounce bounce> I bounce
after Douglas (the human). <bounce bounce flip cuddle cuddle cuddle> I
bounce after Chainsaw and Poli (our neurotic pet cats) <bounce pounce
bounce pounce nibble nibble nip!> And I really *LOVE* to bounce after mom's
toes! She's funny. I first expected her to spank me for playing "toe
tackle" with her, but she's such a great sport! She just picks me up and
cuddles me as if she *LIKES* it! I guess she thinks I'll get some kind of
complex or something when I grow up, but the joke's on her -- I *KNOW* what
I'm doing and I think she's funny because a little baby like me (I'm only
about 16 weeks old) can out-smart her and dictate her actions as if she
were some kind of trained Russian Dog...<grin>
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Well, that's about it for the ferrets. The cats don't say much, though they
do talk a lot. Chainsaw has no "off switch" to her "purr button", thus her
name. Poli is short for "politician"...she talks a lot but she never says a
thing...<grin> My son Douglas is 10 years old and is *EXTREMELY* good with
the babins...
We did lose our Snark a couple of months ago. He had a nasty tumor that
grew to about 1/3 his body size within about 4 days. I had him operated
on, but it turned out to be at the mouth of his bladder and was
malignant...the doctor said that it would be the same size in another four
days and that Snark would be in pain in the meantime...I still feel very
guilty about "giving the order", but I do know that it was the right thing
to do. My son and I both "fell apart"...we still can't talk about it
without getting very upset. Snark was an angel. Even at his most painful
times he would never bite...never complain...he would just look at me as if
"you can fix it, can't you mommy?"...
It's odd how much money a person can come up with in order to try to save
their furry family members...
I plan on contributing whatever I can to the FML. I really appreciate all of
the information I've gotten from all of you! To Dr. Williams and the other
experts, thank you!
Snipe ("wallet? gimmegimme!), Schnitzell (the furry roto rooter), Tribble
<bounce bounce>, Chainsaw ("purrrrrrrr"), Poli ("mewmewmew"), Douglas and
Cheryl (and soon to add a skunk to the family!)
[Posted in FML issue 1218]
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