I realize that when you find out that your ferret is deaf for the first
time, it can be a pretty surprising thing.  I've got to tell you that
there are definitely some stages that people seem to go through.  Some
common feelings experienced by others are:
 
Denial - This can be demonstrated in many ways, but the most common
expression, is to keep testing your ferret.  You might find yourself
continually going up behind your ferret clapping your hands, banging
things, squeaking things, etc..  And really this is a good kind of
denial.  Because this way you are sure to know that the tests are
positive and that nobody has made a mistake.  Also it's helpful in
getting it "through your head that yes, your animal is deaf".  This
is good because you can move on after this.
 
There are more unhealthy forms of denial.  A good example would be if one
acted like they didn't care.  The person is like "so what", or "how can
you scientifically know for sure", and "why think about it, it's not like
you can change it anyway if its true".  Well, all three have merit
actually.  "So what" ... well in a way, this is true.  The ferret doesn't
really care in most cases.  "How can you know" ... well, it's not like
everyone can afford to travel across the country to a vet school that has
the equipment to scientifically prove they are deaf ... and it wouldn't
be good to ever put a ferret through such invasive tests anyway.  So
yeah, the only tests we have really, are "home" sorts of tests that are
not proven scientifically.  "You can't change it anyway".... true.  And
it's healthy to realize this.  But should you think these thoughts so
strongly that you ignore the fact that they are deaf?  No.  That wouldn't
be wise for you or the animal.
 
Frantic information gathering - Some people can even be obsessed with
this.  But it's easy to see why.  You reach out to books to find ...
nothing.  You reach out to the Internet to often find just a mere mention
of ferret deafness.  You reach out to people and find very little people
to none or who know about ferret deafness.  So it just makes you dig in
and research all the more.  This is a quick phase as most people do find
some sort of info, get satisfied, and can move on.
 
Disappointment - Ah nobody likes to ever admit this one.  But it's a
natural feeling whether its' in a brief moment or for a longer time.
You thought you had the perfect animal.  You thought they were gorgeous
and absolutely perfectly healthy.  Now you look at them momentarily and
realize ... they are different.  I think most people will deny that they
felt this even for a moment.  But I dare say, most do when it's their
first exposure to a deaf ferret, and to knowing a ferret can even be
deaf.  It's normal.  It's natural.  It's usually brief, once you realize
that your ferret is STILL gorgeous and absolutely healthy.  :)
 
Feeling alone - This is a big one.  Your friends and family might look
at you like you are nuts for even realizing your ferret is deaf, and
then marvel that you even care.  Pet stores might be shocked (genuinely)
and have no clue this can happen in ferrets.  Other professionals (zoo
keepers, vets, etc), may even doubt you at first.  At first glance, there
is no one online that has a clue as to what you are feeling.  But keep
looking ... because there are many of us out here that do know.  Give
some local shelters a call, just as you did.  And you will find both
knowledge and support.  And you will not feel so alone.
 
Bewilderment - You may be near this stage.  You are confused as to what
to do next.  How do you proceed with your relationship with your animal
friend?  What are the do's and don'ts ... not just for deaf ferrets, but
for your individual animal's personality?  What is right for you?
 
Enlightenment - Now you see the light at the end of the tunnel.  You
accept that your animal is slightly different, but you realize that is
just fine.  You have found support, and know you are not the only one who
is going through this.  You have found some helpful information and some
helpful individuals.  And now things are falling into place as to what
plans you want to proceed with.  You feel some sort of relief.
 
Action - This is where you pick a plan as to how to proceed next and then
do it.  Whether you choose to do nothing, but be aware of your animals
difference, or to choose to change your behavior and/or ways to train
your ferret... you take the actions that you feel comfortable with.  And
you move on.
 
There is one more stage.  This stage seems to hit people at all different
times.  It can come first thing or last thing that you feel.  It can
return several times over.  Or you may be one of the ones that never has
to feel this emotion at all.  This stage is when you feel "sadness".
Sadness because you realize that your ferret will never hear your voice.
Sadness because you think about how he will never hear another ferret's
happy dooking noises.  You might get sad for all sorts of different
little reasons.  Your head will be telling you that it's silly, that this
is no big deal, that your ferret doesn't even KNOW it's deaf in most
cases.  But you still feel some sadness nonetheless.  It's a very common
thing.  People tell me that they feel these things all the time.  I
myself had a lot of trouble with this emotion even though, I knew
intellectually there was no reason for it.  My husband ... never felt it,
only to have it crop up on him TWO years after the fact.  And yet some
people report never even feeling a touch of this emotion, ever.
 
I don't "know" what the stages are for people.  Those are the ones I went
through, and the ones many who write me go through.  I'm writing this off
the top of my head in response to your Merlin post.  I'm sure they are
either out of order, missing little facts, and missing whole stages.
But, this is what I could get out today for you to read.  I don't know
if it will help in that you will see you are not the only one that might
feel some of these things, or not.
 
For ideas about approaching a deaf ferret and training, maybe my site
will help?
http://wolfysluv.jacksnet.com/deaf.html
 
There are other pages and sites linked to it, as well as a deaf ferret
email list.
 
Warmly,
Wolfy
[Posted in FML issue 4055]