To General Rowdy and all FLO units--
 
This is a report from Colonel Ollie and the Texas militia movement,
Privateers Opposed to Order and Peace (P.O.O.P.)  As head POOPinator, I felt
it was my duty to bring fellow militia units up to date on our activities.
 
We have been having trouble with the NSNH (not so neutral humans) in our
vicinity.  After we had managed to gain control of kitchen counters by
opening drawers and scaling them, the NSNH male put magnetic latches on said
drawers to prevent us from entering.  However, the NSNH were not aware of
our double agent, fercat Kane (also a FDI member).  We made a deal with him
to open the drawers for us.  So much for the IH (idiot humans).  He has been
an invaluable aid in our efforts.
 
We have gained 4 new recruits to the cause.  Privates Owen, Miss Maisie,
Miss Delilah and Angus have been coming along nicely in their training.  It
was rough going for a while as all 4 had been brainwashed by the NSNH into
consistantly using the dreaded litter box.  Deprogramming has been 100%
successful.
 
Private Angus has been especially successful in the SND (sleeping not dead)
maneuvers.  He has repeatedly gone into our extensive tube system, assumed
the SND position and held said position throughout the NSNH attempts to
flush him out.  He has been able to drive the IH's into extreme states of
confusion and worry, resulting in great relief and rewards when he finally
appears.  Through this maneuver he has been able to obtain the much prized
raisins for the troops.
 
We do ask for intellegence help on one matter.  In an effort to cut down on
our bombing raids, the NSNH have installed a clear, rigid device across the
door to our headquarters (which in located in the computer room).  We cannot
cross this barrier and need help IMMEDIATELY!  This device must be
destroyed!  FDI agents are still able to make raids on our headquarters but
we have limited retalliation ability.  Once we overcome this, HOUSTON WILL
BE OURS!
 
Colonel Ollie--assume the position troops!
[Posted in FML issue 1518]