We have always had such a special bond.  She could tell me what she wanted
just by looking up at me.  She was my Beauty Queen, Silver Queen, Queen
Bean Sabine.  She and Eloise were our first two ferrets 8 years ago come
August.  Since then she has had a broken leg (no one ever admitted how),
insulinoma, diabetes and congestive heart failure.  I thought she would
die two years ago from the diabetes, but she responded to insulin and
then her diabetes stayed in remission as long as she had her monthly
Lupron shots.  Until a few months ago, she still toured the Wreck Room
and let Zoe know she still wanted to kill her for being another female.
Of course she still loved all her boys (such a floozy); Rebecca's boy and
girl she ignored as upstarts beneath her notice.
 
She has been tired for a few months now, never leaving her cage and
sleeping most of the time, but she loved to bury her nose in my elbow
while I rubbed her head or lower back, and she loved her food and her
Ferretone and NutriStat treats.  She had a stroke recently and lost the
use of one front leg, and she was dragging herself the inches to her
food, water and poop corner.  I have wondered over and over if I would
have to let her go, but she let me know that she still enjoyed her limited
life.  A few days ago she started to make pained creaking noises when I
woke her up.  Today it even bothered her when I gently moved her sleep
sack to change the incontinence pad.
 
I was somewhat preoccupied today because I had watched Zoe overnight to
see if she was pooping at all (she was) and was then getting Jake ready
to see the vet because of bloody poops.  But twice when I picked Sabine
up to cuddle her she only wanted to get back in her sack.  The third time
she creaked and really buried her head in my elbow in such a sad way.  So
I took her along to the vet.  My own vet is on vacation, but this one was
very good to us.  I had lots of time with her around his examining Jake,
and he gave me several opportunities to change my mind.  Except for
looking to see where she was and to see if the barking dog was in the
room, Sabine just lay in my arms and let me rub her head.  I knew she
felt old and tired and in pain and ready to go meet Eloise across the
Bridge.  She was so strong that she could have lived for many more days
or longer, but she was ready to be helped to leave today, and for the
first time I had no hesitation about whether it would be right not to let
her go on her own.
 
It has been a hard 8 months.  In August, Kermit died at 5yo after 4 years
of eosinophilic gastroenteritis on the very day I was finally allowed to
bend over after 6 weeks recuperating from surgery.  My first act was to go
to the ferrets' Wreck Room, only to find him in his hammock.  I haven't
gotten over him yet, and since then I have lost my flying squirrel girl
Eloise (7.5yo) to aggressive lymphoma, and we just lost Muggsie, our 6yo
loveable ambassador ferret, a few weeks ago to aggressive cancer.
Tomorrow the vet will call to tell me if Jake (6yo), who is already on
Lupron, has lymphoma or an infection.  In two weeks, on her 7th birthday,
Zoe will begin Lupron treatments.  Both Jake and Zoe still act healthy,
but only Mighty Martin, the 5.25 lb 4yo love sponge, has nothing worse
than impacted anal glands.  As soon as I think I can handle it, we will
be visiting Diane Bodofsky's shelter to let Martin choose a younger
friend.  We'd hate for him to be left friendless.  He's already so bored
since Rebecca and her two youngsters moved out in January.
 
Thanks for listening.  Only ferret people understand.
 
Judith
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[Posted in FML issue 3763]