Flawless light in a darkening air,alone and shining there".... (love is )
Simple
 
Doodlebug passed away last night in my arms.He crossed quietly,gently and
without much notice,like he lived his life.
 
He was old,his poor body broken down and in pain.I was relieved when he
passed but i cryed and will miss him for a long time.
 
Doodlebug taught me that all life is sacred and not without some purpose,
even a fleeting purpose.  i know you are supposed to learn that in church
or school or from a book or some human you love, but I learned it from
Doodlebug.  Go figure.
 
Doodlebug was someone elses' garbage, throw away and burden,but he was my
friend and delight.  What someone else left in the trash in an empty
apartment was my best treasure.
 
He was already old when he came to me.He was quiet,serious,deaf and had
cataracts,bad teeth,bad health ,itchy tumors,and was a worried loner.  He
wagged his tail for for a bowl of cream,got all revved up about prized
napping spots and made all sorts of loud noises,moans ,groans and sighs
he never realized he was making.
 
He did not like or trust a lot of others,kinda like me these days, but
was willing to give it all another go around in his live and let live
style...kinda like me these days.
 
There were times in his last few weeks that he fought hard for his life.
He wanted his life and to live it well.  I realized that doodlebug's life
was as important to doodlebug as mine is to me and yours is to you.There
was really no difference in the will to live and to live it well.
 
Doodlebug did live it well and was well loved because he was so content
with his small comforts,dignity,those who cared for him and his space.
He was never overly territorial about any of it figuring there was enough
to go around.
 
He did'nt demand a whole lot.he was happy for his food and comfort and to
go about his small bit of bussiness every day.
 
I was thinking that perhaps in light of current ( and past and ongoing)
world madness,violence and tragedy everyone should have a little
doodlebug.A little comfort and dignity go a long way.
 
Someone once told me that doodlebug always seemed to be on an important
mission,some mysterious quest when he tooled around the house, a mission
only he knew he was on..  i let him have his ongoing secret missions
although sometimes he was pesty and stubborn about the spot he wanted
to have them in..like the bathtub.
 
I woke him up a lot from his unending naps to manhandle him with hugs
and kisses.Like a kid his eyes seemed to say "cut the crap",but I knew
he really liked it.
 
In the end he asked for it constantly..that i should stay and stroke
behind his ears and wrap him in a t-shirt and keep him on my lap.
 
I talked to him all the time even though he was deaf.I sang the "No one
is home in Doodlebug -land" song to him once in a while when he was being
silly..  and when no one else was around to see me act like a fool..  He
was grateful for these things,i could tell, becasue he knew what it was
to live without them.
 
We had both been lost causes at certain points in life and had both found
redemption and a soft place to land.I was happy to be Doodlebug's soft
place to land.  It was an honor and a privledge to share time and life
with him as we both made our way to whatever homes we would find
ourselves in.
 
Christine
[Posted in FML issue 4755]