Hi!  I'm Gunnar and dis is my brudder Daniel, betta known as Spike.  Since
part of dis weddin' is a big party, it is impotant that they have ferret
bouncers.  We're da best bouncers at dis here weddin', cause as me ma says,
we're da bounciest ferrets she knows.  We bounce off of da walls.  We bounce
off of da furniture.  We bounce off of each other.
 
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TA DA!!!  Dis is Tiger da Terwible Tunder Fairwit!!!!    8:)
Tiger is one of Sammi's brydes mades.
 
Tiger gave Sammi a purty purple bruise on her foot when she aksidentally
stepped on in during da rehersals.  Sammi gots a vwery old dead dried frog
from da garden so she could learn how to fix it da way Smudge likes it.
Tiger also gave her a brand new lavendar collar wit a purple bell on it.  An
Tiger borrowed Ma's right fuzzy slipper( da one dat use to have da fluffy
feather on it).  An don't tell anyone, cause Tiger notsuppose to steal, but
she gave Sammi a spool of pink thread dat Ma tinks she lost last month.
Besides da bruise, Tiger gave Sammi a blue feather she just so happened to
have from somewhere.  8:)
 
Tiger
 
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Weddin, Smudge's view:
 
Da otta town relatives arrived in a swarm!!
Dair must be a dozen of em!!  All here to make sure dat I don't get
cold paws.  NO CHANCE!!  My bestest ferret, Flavio, gave a terriffic
bachlor party.  He sure is up town!!
 
Ma gave me a purty gold ring for my bryde, Sammi.  She said dat it was
vwery old.  An Ma said for Smudge to member dat all dat is precious
does not glitter.  (She was taklin bout Sammi) Smudge would rather have
someting soft dan something shinney, anyways.
 
Den we were dair.  At da weddin.  My fur glisttened from da ferretone
(a beauty secret from Winston) but it seemed to dull when da brydes
arrived.  Each one more lovely dan da last, till our eyes met.  Sammi's
an mine.  Da breeze swept up her scent an brought it to me.  If only
the wind could speak it would whisper the name  of Samantha.  My tongue
was so dry I could barely dook my wows.  I don't know what she said,
but I agreed to everyting.  Den we kissed!!!!  An kissed, and kissed.
Den Smudge picked up ( or tried to) da new Mrs. Smudge by da scruff of
her pretty neck an dragged her off to da honeymoons!!!!!
Dookadookadooka!!!!!!
 
Flavio helped Smudge decorate wit flowers an socks an stuffed toys all
in pink an purple.  Dair was iced Fera Vit (vintage 1991) (a vwery good
year) an fresh watermelon an frog jerky ( an aquired taste).
 
I tink dair was music or some noise.  I didn't really notice.  We wardanced
to a much older rythum.  Den it happened.  It was vwery embearwassing!
Smudge slipped out of da satin hammock (too much ferretone on da fur, I
guess)!  So as I snugged next to my sweetie, I had to hold on REAL tight to
her neck (wink ).  My new bryde licked the ferretone from my fur while I
held on so I wouldn't slide out again (wink, wink).
 
Honeymoon Heartbeat
     I am da heart
   you are do heartbeat,
     I am da eyes
   you are da sight,
     I am the body,
   you are da life,
     I am da dancer
   you are da dance.
You give purpose to chance.
 
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I am Special Agent Raiden of the F.B.I. (Ferret Bureau of Investigation),
and I am proud to be the acting Ferret Bartender & Concoctionizer at this
special event.  I want to take this opportunity to congratuate the special
couples.  I wish you all the happiness in the world and a long life!
 
On this special occasion, I will be serving a special blend of my OWN,
consisting mostly of ferretone and crushed fruit of which I cannot tell
(secrets in the sauce!). I am fully trained in removing any coon-crashers or
W.W.W.D.'s (Wacky Weasle War Dancers).  Don't worry though, I won't be
spending the whole night behind the bar, I've been known to CHEW a little
rug in my day....*grin*.
 
Special Agent Raiden :)
[Posted in FML issue 1685]