First, the exciting human news:
 
We are thrilled to announce the arrival of our first child, Daniel Joseph
Collinson-Faunt, on February 3, 1999, about 7 weeks before his due date.
Dan weighed 3 lbs 13 3/4 oz. at birth (a bit small for a human, a bit big
for a ferret).  He's small, but he's wiry.  He is very healthy for a
premature baby (he's pretty much the heavyweight of the "preemie" ward!),
and we expect to be able to take him home within the next week or two.
JoAnne's health rebounded immediately after giving birth, and they kicked
her out of the hospital after only two days.  Thanks to everyone who sent
their prayers and best wishes.
 
Now for the news more intended to the ferrets in the crowd:
 
Before Jo went into the hospital, I had sent a series of emails to Dr.
Brent Friesen, who is the Medical Officer of Health for the Calgary
Regional Health Authority.  I outlined Sydney's nipping incident, the
subsequent over-reaction by the b#@ch from Communicable Disease Control,
the resulting stress to my wife and unborn child, and provided a list of
experts in the field he could contact who would tell him there was no way
in H#ll Sydney could possibly have rabies (ie.  Syd would be dead, I would
be dead, JoAnne would be dead, the nurses Syd bit would be dead or dying,
all of the kids in our neighbourhood would be dead, and most of the other
700,000 people in Calgary would be foaming at the mouth, etc.).  I also
attached a list of some of the more enlightened areas in Canada (including
the city of Edmonton, our perpetual rivals to the North) where a 10 day
quarantine period has already been established for ferret bite incidents,
the same as for dogs and cats.  Barb Gustafson of the Alberta Ferret
Society also sent Dr. Friesen (among other things) a copy of the Rabies
Compendium that defines the current protocol for animal biting incidents,
recommending the10 day quarantine period.  (Thanks Barb!!!)
 
The result?
 
Dr. Friesen wrote back while we were "busy" at the hospital, apologizing
for our run-in with Communicable Disease Control, and explaining that the
Calgary Regional Health Authority is updating their 10 day quarantine
policy in biting incidents to include FERRETS!!!  He also indicated that
since Sydney had already passed (ie.  outlived) the 10 day quarantine
period, all they would need is a copy of her immunization record and an
examination by our vet to clear her.  (Upon examining her, our vet said,
"Well, she's still breathing, and she's not foaming at the mouth.  I'm
pretty sure she doesn't have rabies.  Her teeth need a bit of a cleaning,
though." When he started scraping, I was sure we were about to have another
ferret bite incident, but Syd restrained herself.  Curled up in his arms
afterward.  Loves vets.  Hates nurses.  Go figure.)
 
When I got home from the hospital the day after Dan was born and checked
our answering machine, there were several increasingly frantic sounding
messages from a lady at Communicable Disease Control (presumably the
b#@ch's boss) indicating that she'd been "asked" by Dr. Friesen to
straighten out our situation AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!
 
So, I had a son, saved a beloved family member from a date with the
executioner, and changed Ferret Law all in one week.  Pretty impressive,
if I do say so myself.  I could be tough to live with for a while.  { He
already is - JoAnne : ) }
 
JoAnne and I would like to express our sincere appreciation for all of the
help and support we've received.  There is absolutely no way we could have
brought this matter to such a swift and successful close without the
benefit of all of the resources and contacts that were mobilized on
Sydney's behalf.  Thanks to everyone involved!!!  Please feel free to
look us up if you're ever in town.  We'd love to show off our kids!
 
Sincerely,
 
Tim Faunt, JoAnne Collinson, Daniel Joseph Collinson-Faunt,
Tanus - the one that bites nobody but us,
& Sydney - the one that bites everybody but us (ex-fugitive, aka Dr.
Richard Kimball),
Calgary, Alberta, Canada - Now a ferret-friendly zone! (FFZ)
 
p.s.  Anyone have any tips/anecdotes on introducing a newborn into a
free-range ferret infested home?  We'll keep them separated initially and
supervised thereafter, but eventually we'd like them to be able to interact
without having to worry about Syd & Tanus hiding Dan under the couch.
Suggestions?
 
p.p.s.  The hundreds of emails we received last week maxed out our disk
quota on our server, so they deleted everything.  We're trying to get them
restored so we can thank everyone who wrote individually, but that might
not happen.  We're not ungrateful - just overwhelmed and out of memory!
[Posted in FML issue 2586]