<Paul looks down on the Ferret Mailing List from his hillside retreat>
 
Aha!  An important event... Murphy!  Sammy!  Max!  Front and center!
 
<Three ferrets - Murphy, a handsome Sable in the red serge uniform of
the RCMP; Sammy a Dark-Eyed White wearing a yarmulke; and Max, another,
euqally handsome Sable with his hind legs strapped in a mobility device -
run and roll up to more-or-less stand at attention.>
 
Murphy: Present and accounted for, sir - ooh, this is the FML, right?  We
haven't been here before, have we?
 
Paul: Sure is!  And I think you're right - this may be the first time.
 
Max: Oh, wow... All those message boards and newsgroups - and now we're
here!  I'm guessing that we've got a birthday to celebrate, right?
 
Paul: Correct, and an important one - Kouri Wood!
 
Sammy: Really?!  The one with the NRA membership and his own Fan Club?
Neat-o!
 
Paul: Yep!  A Fan Club that I'm proud to belong to!  <Looks at ferrets>
Uh - that is -
 
Murphy (waving it away): Don't worry about it, sir.  We're fictional
characters.  We think having imaginary members in a Fan Club is a bit
much.
 
Paul: Glad to see you look at it that way.  Is the cannon ready for
firing?
 
Sammy: Should be.  Skippy, Skippy, Skippy, Skippy and Skippy have finished
tuning it up.  No problems as far as we know.
 
Paul: What about Skippy?  Couldn't he help this time?
 
Max: Skippy's off in Perth Amboy in an off-Broadway production of "Chess".
He's playing Freddie.  Last we heard he was rushing here in his private
LearJet.
 
Paul: Ah, okay.  Get the cannon into position for firing!
 
<Several Albino ferrets, dressed in mechanic's coveralls marked "Skippy",
push a vintage Civil War cannon forward.  The names of several newsgroups
and message boards are listed on the barrel.>
 
Paul: Ready... aim... FIRE!
 
*BOOOOOOOMMM!!*
 
*WHOOOOOOOSSSHHH!!!!*
 
<Charge explodes in midair, showering the FML with confetti, streamers,
M&Ms (including the hard-to-find Ferretone flavor), all sorts of healthy
and not-so-healthy treats, and a banner slung beneath a parachute: HAPPY
5TH BIRTHDAY, KOURI!!!  Murphy, Sammy, Skippy, Skippy, Skippy and Skippy
start a ferret conga while Max does a rather nice front-leg tap dance.
Another Albino in a white linen suit strolls in and starts singing "One
Night in Bangkok".>
 
Paul: Kouri, I hope your birthday is a happy one, and that you have many
more to come!
 
<Skippy slaps a stencil on the cannon, covers it with paint and strips it
away to reveal the words "FERRET MAILING LIST" added to the list.>
 
=====
Paul E. Jamison
 
--
"There's more pressure on a vet to get it right. People say 'it was God's
will' when granny dies, but they get *angry* when they lose a cow."
- Terry Pratchett
[Posted in FML issue 3606]