Dear Ferret Folks-
 
Every year at this time, my husband Dann blows his coat.  As the days
grow warmer, he gets out the electric shaver, and off comes his heavy
winter beard.
 
This year he did innovate a bit.  Instead of leaving his hairy
tumbleweeds in the bathroom sink for, I don't know...maybe he thinks that
little house-keeping elves are going to come dancing out of the drain in
a swirl of Celtic music and clean up the mess that he leaves for me there
every spring.  Anyway, after five years together, instead of leaving his
pelt in the bottom of the bathroom sink for me to clean, he carefully put
every bit of his former beard in the bathroom wastebasket.  First time
ever.
 
You guys have ferrets.  You know what happened.  C'mon!  The bathroom
wastebasket!  That thing full of snips of dental floss and crumpled
cellophane wrappers and toilet paper roll tubes.  That thing that
FERRETS knock over every chance they get.
 
There are little wiry beard bits All! Over! My! Bathroom! Floor!
There are little wiry beard bits All! Over! My! Bathroom! Rugs!
There are little wiry beard bits All! Over! My! Ferrets!
 
Now, my husband is going to come home, and he thinks I'm going to pat him
on the head and tell him how good he was to clean up that mess he always
leaves for me.  (Ah, *hit, I can hear them in the wastebasket AGAIN!)
Nope.  No, I feel like 140 pounds of fire-breathing carniverous wifedom
with a dustpan clenched in my shaking fist.
 
There are little wiry beard bits All! Over! My! Bathroom! Floor!
There are little wiry beard bits All! Over! My! Bathroom! Rugs!
There are little wiry beard bits All! Over! My! Ferrets!
 
WHAT WAS HE THINKING!?  Why didn't he just save Switch and Lily the
trouble of strewing his pelt around?  Why didn't he just stand in the
middle of the bathroom and shave directly over the FLOOR?
 
Oh, God, I'm ranting....I will stop now...sorry...I think I'll go breathe
into a paper bag for a while...
 
Alexandra in Massachusetts
[Posted in FML issue 4099]