Dear Ferret Folks- Every year at this time, my husband Dann blows his coat. As the days grow warmer, he gets out the electric shaver, and off comes his heavy winter beard. This year he did innovate a bit. Instead of leaving his hairy tumbleweeds in the bathroom sink for, I don't know...maybe he thinks that little house-keeping elves are going to come dancing out of the drain in a swirl of Celtic music and clean up the mess that he leaves for me there every spring. Anyway, after five years together, instead of leaving his pelt in the bottom of the bathroom sink for me to clean, he carefully put every bit of his former beard in the bathroom wastebasket. First time ever. You guys have ferrets. You know what happened. C'mon! The bathroom wastebasket! That thing full of snips of dental floss and crumpled cellophane wrappers and toilet paper roll tubes. That thing that FERRETS knock over every chance they get. There are little wiry beard bits All! Over! My! Bathroom! Floor! There are little wiry beard bits All! Over! My! Bathroom! Rugs! There are little wiry beard bits All! Over! My! Ferrets! Now, my husband is going to come home, and he thinks I'm going to pat him on the head and tell him how good he was to clean up that mess he always leaves for me. (Ah, *hit, I can hear them in the wastebasket AGAIN!) Nope. No, I feel like 140 pounds of fire-breathing carniverous wifedom with a dustpan clenched in my shaking fist. There are little wiry beard bits All! Over! My! Bathroom! Floor! There are little wiry beard bits All! Over! My! Bathroom! Rugs! There are little wiry beard bits All! Over! My! Ferrets! WHAT WAS HE THINKING!? Why didn't he just save Switch and Lily the trouble of strewing his pelt around? Why didn't he just stand in the middle of the bathroom and shave directly over the FLOOR? Oh, God, I'm ranting....I will stop now...sorry...I think I'll go breathe into a paper bag for a while... Alexandra in Massachusetts [Posted in FML issue 4099]