Hey dammit!  Why didn't I get assigned someone to flame!!!  Couldn't
be from a lack of options Alexandra.  The possibilities are truly
endless...so not wanting to be left out, I've decided to flame myself.
 
I confess,.  I am pure evil.  I hate what I do and have for five whole
years.  I torture these animals too.  They never ever get out of their
cages unless I friggin well feel like it...but that leaves a burning
question that sits up and begs for an answer....where on earth does all
the poo appear from during the night that lurk in the corners of my
house, the poo that I clean every morning when I get up between 430 and
500 hrs?  Fairies!  That must be it!  I have poo fairies.  They flutter
silently around the house in the middle of the night depositing poo piles
everywhere, sprinkle their sparkling magic fairy dust over the cages
casting a subconscious spell over the innocent fuzzy victims as they
sleep.  When they awake, they line up and take the blame for the messes.
It's either that or they have a secret lab that I'm unaware of where
they have a teleporter set up.  They are pooing in the teleporters and
transmitting it to random corners of the house.  I also don't appreciate
the folks on my rescue.  They hate ferrets too which explains why they
stick to the volunteer schedule religiously.  Oh and they never donate
supplies either which really ticks me off...this must be the work of
those evil little fairies too.  They are leaving packs of paper towels
on the porch, disguising their hand writing, signing little notes from
Mustang Jack....a fairy named Jack!  Imagine that.  ....oh and I am
absolutely the laziest ferret mom on the planet.  When I get home from my
"real job" at night, I just plop my butt down and watch tv, letting the
volunteers do all the work.  You see I also have a really cushy job that
I can wander in to anytime I want, these days it's from 7;00 to 5:30 and
then about an hour from home at night...and when I get up at 430 am, ....
I don't do any work either.....so now I'm really scratching my head cause
I didn't think fairys were capable of so much manual labor...you see they
must also be doing 2-3 loads of laundry a day as well.!!!!  Which is cool
because I can really use that extra veggie time in the am to watch
tv...(gotta rest up for my hard day at work!) At least at the "real job"
I get an hour lunch break where I can chill out and work on crocheting
the afghan due to be done in a couple weeks (I'm trying folks...I really
am.  I had to start it over because the yarn had inconsistencies) THEN
when the weekend hits, oh boy,...time to bar hop and party party, but
only after I complete 14 hours of weasel work & more work from home.  You
see I need the over time to pay for that new Lamborghini I just bought.
In my spare time I enjoy cleaning the rest of the house.  Adoptions?
Forget it?  Once these guys come in they are here to stay.  If this
home isn't good enough they know where the front door is and they are
more than welcome to take on the real world without any help from me
whatsoever.  Just a few weeks ago, two of the babies hijacked my car and
drove it all the way to Ohio just to get away from this hell hole of a
rescue I run.  I hear they made it safely but the driver they assigned
to bring the car home, screwed up, took the car to Jiffy Lube for an oil
change ( who in turn also screwed up and didn't put enough oil back in)
and left the weasel mobile dead on the road in Hagerstown....but that's
ok,...it gave me a reason to go buy that new Jaguar...it looks so good
parked in the driveway next to the Lamborghini.,
 
Kimberly Fox
Director/Rescue Mom
Somethin Up My Sleeve Ferret Rescue
http://companiontalk.terrabox.com/SUMS-Rescue.html
  Help The Helpless. SUPPORT PRIVATE RESCUE
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[Posted in FML issue 5379]