Captain Pato,
 
I have received the requested information from General Stella. She has
explained that moving can be a fun experience and a new way to torment the
stoopid hooman beans.
 
Moving is going a long long ways away, in something called a car.  This is
the same thing the stoopid hooman beans take you to the doctor's in, but
this doesn't mean it is a bad place.  It is just a way to get from here to
there, like wardancing, but can go a lot longer.  General Stella says she
moved from Houston to Columbia, the same place you must talk your stoopid
hooman into moving to.
 
To annoy the stoopid hooman bean while your are in the car, all you have to
do is take the cage or carrier door (the box they stick you in) in your
teeth and rattle it.  Information says your F.L.O. unit has 4 ferrets.  The
most important thing is to take turns rattling the door, so you can make
noise no matter how long you are in the car.  General Stella said they were
able to keep it up for 19 hours, never allowing the hooman to sleep.
 
Also reach out from the box and grab anything you can.  This works
especially well with any clothes in your way, just pull what you can inside
the box and chew, rip or pee on it.  And if you can find a chenille robe,
it is possible to pull out pieces of that to distribute around the car.
 
And never ever use the potty arrangements the stoopid hooman bean has made
for you.  The s.h.b. here was advised to use paper towels in the boxes
instead of smaller boxes.  Col.  Pookie reports that this was the best thing
to do, because they could dump water, pee and poop on the paper, then push
it out the front of the boxes.  Made the whole car stink.
 
Columbia has two large units of F.L.O. troops, although reports from one are
sketchy. That unit had its stoopid hooman bean totally under F.L.O. control,
but it is not known whether this is still true.  Reports of recent additions
to that unit seem to indicate this, but more information is needed for
comfirmation.  This unit is in absolute power.  There has also been another
F.L.O. member to recently arrive in Columbia.  Your additions would be put
to excellent use.
 
We understand that you are an expert in martial arts, specializing in rodent
dispatching. We desperately need your training in this matter.
 
Mazel Tov (codename Natasha), communications specialist
Member in good standing, Mustaad, an elite branch of the F.L.O., trained in
one to one combat and the hunting of war criminals
[Posted in FML issue 2307]