Much discussion has gone on here about the distinguishing characteristics of
a home that contains ferrets.  I was wondering if you guys have thoughts on
how to spot a ferret owner, or the distinguishing characteristic thereof.
 
I suggest these things to look for:
 
1. Ferret owners always have sort of a disheveled look about them.
2. We sort of have our heads down and shuffle our feet instead of walking
   like the rest of the world, and looking where we are going, instead we
   are well trained and constantly watching for fuzzies so we don't step on
   them.
3. Clothes are wrinkles from extracting them from under the bed or chest or
   other piece of furniture.
4. Clothes, though they are fresh out of the dryer, are "tagged" with
   ferret hairs before we can put them on.
5. Often our hair is not too straight because the little furry people hid
   the hairbrush again.
6. We walk a little odd, or appear shorter some days because they stole
   our insoles again, or worse, they ate them.  (Where is that hairball
   medicine?)
7. Our socks NEVER match, and we're lucky if we can even find TWO socks, no
   matter the color, in the entire house.
8. We are usually late to wherever we were going because the fuzzie did
   something as we were walking out the door, or needed one more goodbye
   kiss, (or hid our watch again).
9. We can never find our wallets or car keys, because, well, you know why.
10. We have holes in our jogging shoes or even our good shoes because the
    ferrets thought they were a chew toy.
11. We often have to try hard to keep from absent-mindedly mentioning to a
    co-worker that we have to "go potty" now, or reaching for the hairball
    med if they cough.
12. On those occasions when people pull out pictures of their wives and
    children, we reach into our wallets (if we have found our wallets, that
    is) and show pictures of our fuzzies and talk about the cute thing
    Scooter did last night.
13. Television is a foreign word to us as we would much rather watch the
    ferrets play.  (Or they have pulled the antenna wire loose again.)
14. Those of us who are truly ferret fanatics (usually shelter operators)
    keep hairball medicine on our nightstand and are awakened by the
    slightest noise or cough from one of the fuzzies.  At 2 a.m.  it is not
    uncommon for us to get up and rush to their cage and make THEM get up
    and take some because we heard a little hacking.  If we are not sure
    which ferret it was, they all have to get up.  (These episodes account
    for our droopy-eyed look the next day.)
15. At other peoples houses we can't help noticing the 'corners' and how
    'clean' they are.
 
Any thoughts guys?  Surely you have lots to add to this list.
 
Trish--Director, Ferrets First Rescue and Shelter
[Posted in FML issue 1483]