Hi Folks,
 
Gorsh, we is startin' to talk like Rosie an' Maxie.  Guess we has done
beened struck down in wuv - we mean love.  Odie didn't learn much 'bout the
subject with all the readin' he's been doin', so we askeded Paw Paw what he
thunked about it.  He thinked for a minute and said, "Love ain't when a
sixteen year-old boy kiss a seventeen year-old gal.  That ain't love, that's
emotion.  But, when that same sixteen year-old boy kiss a thirty-seven
year-old woman, WOO, Dear Hearts, that's LOVE!" Well, so much for Paw Paw's
help.  We is still cornfused.  We'll get back to this in a minute or three.
Gotta take care of some other bizness first.
 
This really has been a strange day for us.  The Ol' Ferts gotted up
yesterday mornin' and wented 'bout doin' their usual Mee Maw & Paw Paw
stuff.  Last nite they went to the ballpark so's Mee Maw could play in a
softball tourneymount that the team gotted into.  Isabel and Jezabel was
there along with their pets, Liz and Mike.  Paw Paw couldn't play 'cause his
hip is still tored up.  He rooted with the gal ferts and Liz while Mike, Mee
Maw an' some other nice folks played in the games.  Isabel did her best
rootin' when she made a big ol' poopy and peepee in the other team's dugout.
Didn't do much good though.  The Bummers got stomped pretty good and losted
the first two games, which was all it took to lose the tourneymount.  Paw
Paw tol' us that it was all 'cause he couldn't play first base like he used
to did.  We wasn't there, so we takes him at his word.
 
They gotted home at about eleben o'clock.  Instead of comin' to bed like
they shoulda', they wented to work on the pooters.  Mee Maw had a big ol'
pooter job that had to be did this morning.  They never did come to bed!
(Well, Paw Paw did take a short nap since he had to see the people-vet this
mornin' and wanted to look fresh.) He weren't no fun though.  He just laid
there and made noises within' his mouth and bad smells from someplace else.
We sure was lonesome.
 
Today ain't been no better.  Mee Maw's still poundin' away at the pooter.
Paw Paw gotted up and went to get tortured by his Physical Therapist.  Then
he got to tell the Vet what a mean, viscious, straight-razor totin' woman
that lil' ol' gal was.  Then we gotted our hopes up.  He putted our
harnesses on us, put us into our critter carrier and toted us to his truck.
He said we was goin' to Sacks Fifth Avenue at Phipps Plaza to get fitted for
our monkey suits.
 
"Hoboy!" we thunkeded, "We ain't gots a clue what monkey soups are, but he's
takin' us to a candy store!" Odie decided that monkey soup must be pretty
good if'n it tasted anything like that beef critter the Ol' Fert made last
week.
 
Boy, was we ever disappointed!  We gotted to that fancy place and found out
that it wasn't even a Candy Store!  This funny lookin' fat man with a silly
moustache kept holdin' this stretchy thing all over us an' talkin' 'bout
inches an' stuff.  He also kept lookin' real funny-like at Paw Paw.  We
didn't see anything special or outta place 'bout the Old Geezer.  He was
wearin' his best pair of cutoffs and favorite, faded Harley shirt.  The
funny little man finally got done with the stretchy thing an' tol' Paw Paw
that our weddin' soups would be ready in a couple of weeks.  He sure did
seem glad to see us leave.  We was about to tell him that his moustache
looked like he done gotted interrupted in the middle of eatin' a woolly
caterpillar when Paw Paw snatched us up an' toted us back to the truck.
 
We was totally cornfuzzled by now.  We done been to the Fifth Avenue store
and didn't get no candy.  We did get a good laugh at the funny little man
with the caterpillar crawlin' aroun' on his face.  On the way home, we asked
Paw Paw what the trip was all about.
 
He smiled, tiredly at us and said, "Well guys, I had to wear a monkey soup
when I married your Mee Maw.  The least I can do is to make sure that you
are properly dressed when you get married to Rosie and Maxie."
 
Ruh Roh!  Guess the wedding is on.  We still don't gots a clue about what
all this bein' married is about, but we're willin' to try anything - once.
 
Oh yes, before we done went and forgotted.  Hey Bob, with one 'O'.  We sure
are sorry that you done gotted your tongue stucked in your cheek.  That must
hurt a whole lot!  Maybe you should see a Vet too.  When are you coming to
see us?  Now Odie wants a nickname certifilate too.
 
Many much loves and dooks.  (Special wuvs to Rosie and Maxie, and to Chipper
and Gina too.)
 
Tater and Odie (Brothers in Mayhem and Wuv)
[Posted in FML issue 1607]