Okay, I wanna win!  Here they are:
 
1)  Sheet Shark.  Can also be used as a verb.  For example: "Where's
Sebastian?  Oh, he's sheet sharking again.  *points to moving lump
between mattress and bottom sheet on bed*" Also, if you are in a cutesy
mood, becomes Feet Fark which I find strangely descriptive.
 
2)  Ratley, or Ratboy.
 
On the subject of blood donors, when I was working in a vet hospital many
years ago, we kept two huge homeless pit bulls in the hospital as blood
donors.  We walked them, and spent as much time with them as we could, and
boy could those critters donate blood.  I saw them take two pints out of 70
lb Pinky once.  And to think I fainted when I gave one pint!  I wonder if
ferret blood is like dog blood (All dog blood is compatible.)
 
The biggest thing Sebastian has ever stolen was a sponge mop.  The really
impressive thing was that he dragged it all the way down the hall and got
it mostly under a chair.  It was hilarious.  He's also fascinated with the
wrist rest we keep in front of our computer, and can have it in his hidey
hole in about 3 seconds if we leave it unattended.  Also, we thought we
could thwart his plant digging instincts by putting the pots way up high.
Well, one day he grabbed the stems which were hanging down and pulled a
couple of pots onto the floor to play with (philadendrons).  When I put the
plant back like it was, he ran and started tugging on the stem again.
*sigh* I don't know if we'll ever get the potting soil out of the rug.
 
--Catherine Shaffer
 
Sebastian says, "Aren't you proud of me for properly dispersing that dirt?"
[Posted in FML issue 1385]