It's Christmas.  I need to decorate the house.  Ok, simple 'nuff task.
Silly me.  I forgot about the Eight Denziens of Anti-Christ with Fur.
Here's how my day has gone so far.
 
 * Open storage room door to look for Christmas lights.
 
 * Spend 15 minutes pulling ferrets out of various boxes.
 
 * Locate box of Christmas lights.
 
 * Locate ferret hanging from light.
 
 * Toss ferrets out of storage room, slam door shut.
 
 * Realize there is no doorknob on inside of storeage room.
 
 * Spend 20 minute prying hinges off door.
 
 * Drag out Christmas lights.
 
 * Replace hinges.
 
 * Remove ferrets from assorted boxes and bags.
 
 * Shut door to storeage room.
 
 * Bring Christmas lights into living room, dump on floor.
 
 * Find 2 ferrets you dumped the lights on.
 
 * Hand out raisins in effort of have 4 mins of peace.
 
 * Begin sorting lights.
 
 * Begin cursing at the idiot who put lights away without separating
   them.
 
 * Stop cursing upon remembering *I* was the idiot who put the lights
   away.
 
 * Notice string of lights making a break for the bedroom.
 
 * Grab lights, reel in two ferrets.
 
 * Notice 3 ferrets chewing merrily on lights.
 
 * Gather up lights, pile in chair.
 
 * Begin untangling one set of lights.
 
 * Shake two ferrets out of pant legs, pick one off of top of chair,
   remove two from speakers, wonder where other 3 are.
 
 * Notice another string of lights making a break for the bedroom.
 
 * Reel in missing 3 ferrets.
 
 * Untangle one string of lights.
 
 * Being taping lights to the window (No staples allowed).
 
 * Have ferret grab free end of lights and race around you in circles.
 
 * Fall on face, pull taped lights off window.
 
 * Fall prey to eight ferrets while helpless on floor.
 
 * Untangle feet from lights.
 
 * Untangle 4 ferrets from lights.
 
 * Untape 2 from lights.
 
 * Gather up lights, throw them in garbage.
 
 * Gather up ferrets, throw them in cages.
 
 * Grab large bottle of wine.
 
 * Run hot bath.
 
 BAH HUMBUG!
[Posted in FML issue 2521]