TO:  EVENTS EDITOR
 DATE:  08/24/97
 FROM: Ferrets NorthWest FNW, 4321 86th Ave SE, Mercer Isle, WA 98040-4124
       Email: [log in to unmask]    Ph. [206] 232-1228
 
 SUBJECT: Ferret physiometrics: measurement of capabilities of the ferret in
 varied environments . . . Science Marches On!.
 
                WHAT:  Ferret Frolics/Ferret Olympics
 
                WHEN: Sunday August 31, noon 'til 5 PM
 
                WHERE:  Hydro pits, Sayres Park on Lake Washington,
                        3800 block Lk Washington Blvd. South.
                        On the shoreline.   LOOK  for large vertical
                        banner: red, white, and black, reading,
                                "Ferrets NorthWest"
 
Public is invited to come and see, take part, and enjoy the antics of one of
the worlds most curious, nosey critters on this good, green earth, the
domesticated house ferret; or, as they're sometimes called, "flat cats."
 
Owner's with their ferrets will be competing in out-of-door, humorous
olympic-style events, weather permitting, to win the coveted Certificates of
FERRET MERIT.
 
These olympic-likeness events are modified to take advantage of the natural
antics of the domesticated ferret.
 
For example, the will be a SLALOM ZIGZAG,"down-hill ski event,"   a PAPER
BAG ESCAPE TURMOIL,  a dual scented string(s) OLEFACTORY SNIFFING
CONTEST,   a vigorous 30-second YAWNS event,   a 25-FOOT SPEED SWIMMING
event,   a  WET FERRET BOWLING FOR POINTS  contest,  a most unique FERRET
INTELLIGENCE test,  a 30-second KISSING-est LOVER FERRET identification,
a best JOCKEY CLAWS  FERRET,  a blindfolded owner FERRET FEEL-FINDER
event with audible audience participatory guidance,   a one minute
hyper-aggressive BALLOONS BURSTING event,    an ESKIMO TOSS (most flights
in x time),  a 25-foot FERRET LAND SPEED DASH,  and lastly, depending
upon the ingenuity and effort of the owners, a FERRET-OWNER/FERRET
LOOK-ALIKE contest.
 
Hint: look for the WWII Japanese infantryman, replete with camohelmet, rifle
and bayonet, with his hand grenade toting ferret scout, "Banzai kiemosabe."
Ahh so deska?  The Lone Ranger was Japanese?
 
Any or all contestants will likely be televised over KING TV5 on the evening
news, and may possibly appear on the front page of Monday's newspapers.
(They've been invited by official FNW press releases.)
 
If you would like to be a judge, timer, or help in any way, please feel
free, free, free, free to contact FNW at [206]232-1228 or email
[log in to unmask] DO IT!
 
The real fun is in the DOING and being the FIRST ONE in the whole world,
perhaps, to publish baseline physiometric data on the capabilities of the
ferret within the confines of humor and good will.  Questions?  Feel free
to call or contact during reg. hrs. if holding a clipboard and wearing a
white lab coat.
 
Verrrry interrrestigk . . .
Edward Frettchenvergnuegen Lipinski,
der Frettchen Meister von Mercer Inselreich,
Der Staat Washingon,
Die Vereinigten Staaten von Nordamerika
 
[Posted in FML issue 2045]