TO: EVENTS EDITOR DATE: 08/24/97 FROM: Ferrets NorthWest FNW, 4321 86th Ave SE, Mercer Isle, WA 98040-4124 Email: [log in to unmask] Ph. [206] 232-1228 SUBJECT: Ferret physiometrics: measurement of capabilities of the ferret in varied environments . . . Science Marches On!. WHAT: Ferret Frolics/Ferret Olympics WHEN: Sunday August 31, noon 'til 5 PM WHERE: Hydro pits, Sayres Park on Lake Washington, 3800 block Lk Washington Blvd. South. On the shoreline. LOOK for large vertical banner: red, white, and black, reading, "Ferrets NorthWest" Public is invited to come and see, take part, and enjoy the antics of one of the worlds most curious, nosey critters on this good, green earth, the domesticated house ferret; or, as they're sometimes called, "flat cats." Owner's with their ferrets will be competing in out-of-door, humorous olympic-style events, weather permitting, to win the coveted Certificates of FERRET MERIT. These olympic-likeness events are modified to take advantage of the natural antics of the domesticated ferret. For example, the will be a SLALOM ZIGZAG,"down-hill ski event," a PAPER BAG ESCAPE TURMOIL, a dual scented string(s) OLEFACTORY SNIFFING CONTEST, a vigorous 30-second YAWNS event, a 25-FOOT SPEED SWIMMING event, a WET FERRET BOWLING FOR POINTS contest, a most unique FERRET INTELLIGENCE test, a 30-second KISSING-est LOVER FERRET identification, a best JOCKEY CLAWS FERRET, a blindfolded owner FERRET FEEL-FINDER event with audible audience participatory guidance, a one minute hyper-aggressive BALLOONS BURSTING event, an ESKIMO TOSS (most flights in x time), a 25-foot FERRET LAND SPEED DASH, and lastly, depending upon the ingenuity and effort of the owners, a FERRET-OWNER/FERRET LOOK-ALIKE contest. Hint: look for the WWII Japanese infantryman, replete with camohelmet, rifle and bayonet, with his hand grenade toting ferret scout, "Banzai kiemosabe." Ahh so deska? The Lone Ranger was Japanese? Any or all contestants will likely be televised over KING TV5 on the evening news, and may possibly appear on the front page of Monday's newspapers. (They've been invited by official FNW press releases.) If you would like to be a judge, timer, or help in any way, please feel free, free, free, free to contact FNW at [206]232-1228 or email [log in to unmask] DO IT! The real fun is in the DOING and being the FIRST ONE in the whole world, perhaps, to publish baseline physiometric data on the capabilities of the ferret within the confines of humor and good will. Questions? Feel free to call or contact during reg. hrs. if holding a clipboard and wearing a white lab coat. Verrrry interrrestigk . . . Edward Frettchenvergnuegen Lipinski, der Frettchen Meister von Mercer Inselreich, Der Staat Washingon, Die Vereinigten Staaten von Nordamerika [Posted in FML issue 2045]