I too was worried about what would happen if a fire broke out while the
weezils were roaming free.  I decided that the best way to handle other than
condemn them to life behind bars, was to teach them to be firefighters.
That way they would be safe and so would my apartment.  The training got off
to a slow start.  I wouldn't believe how hard it is to find weezil-sized
fireman's hats.  I figured I would begin by teaching them how to use a fire
extinguisher.  Big mistake.  Rico chet, Insanity, and Mr. Chains held on to
the nozzle while Turbo pulled the trigger.  The pressure was too great and
the weezils to light.  The end of the hose started flailing around like a
rabid rattlesnake, thowing weezils and extinguisher stuff all over.  Desired
effect not accomplished.  Next, I tried a weezil fire brigade, but they
spent more time playing in the bathtub than trying to put out a fire.  I
finally went to Toys R Us and bought a toy firetruck and a helicopter.  It
works great!  Now when I sound the alarm, they instantly wake up, slide down
the pole to the bottom of the cage, don their weezil-sized fireman's hats,
climb into the firetruck and head to the scene.  If it turns out to be a
large shag carpet fire, Ricochet gets into the helicopter with a bucket
attached to it an dumps water on it.  They make excellent little
fireweezils.  I feel much safer.  The only thing is, they are taking it a
little seriously.  Every time i try to cook something, they respond
immediately.  (I wonder if it has something t o do with the fire alarm going
off.) They have also shaved my pomeranian, dyed him white and painted black
spots all over him.  Go Figure.
 
Mikey B & Fireweezils
 
May the forces of evil become
      confused on their to your house.
           Mike Bostrom
             U-5147   7-3011      08-29
[Posted in FML issue 1942]