Hi FML!
 
This is Elizabeth, the sweet daughter of Mo' "Baculla" Bob.  I'm writing to
say thanks to all the people that wrote and called to wish me well while I
was sick.  Everyone on the FML is so nice and kind.  And not just for
letting dad post all his rantings.
 
Dad can (sometimes) be very nice.  He spent the night in my hospital room
every night I was there, even though he had to sleep in this crummy chair
that made him walk funny when he woke up.  He got in trouble with his
chairman because he didn't have time to finish writing a chapter or
something.  He even snuck in Stella and Crystal to play with me, once I was
not longer infectious.  He would even watch the soaps with me even though he
hates them.  But I had to tell him to stop making jokes about them.
 
I have a short funny story about dad that happened yesterday.  Dad have been
taking special care of Buddy, who has been losing all his hair because of
something wrong with is ahrenal gland.  Dad made up this special treat for
Buddy.  Its made out of chopped raisins, peanut butter, that nutrical stuff,
and some other stuff I can't indentify.  Dad mixed up a mess of the stuff,
and poured it in glass bowl with a tupperware lid.  Well, he is very tired
lately trying to get caught up at work and school, and fell asleep on the
front room floor.  Soon about 10 ferrets crawled up on him and went to
sleep.  So did I, because dad made this really warm nest for me on the futon
and because he was watching the 3 stooges, which bore me to tears.  He loves
them though, and has their poster next to one of Einstein in his dungeon.
 
When I woke up, I looked down and saw something squishy and brown in his
hair.  Dad likes his hair long because he says it makes him look like Thomas
Jefferson and he loves to bug republicans.  (He really wears it long because
his Grandma was Choctah and he says it is in his roots.) I couldn't take my
eyes off the brown gobs in his hair, and even noticed some on his cheek.  I
woke him up, and told him one of the ferrets had poopied in his hair.  He
made a face, and grabbed his hair and saw the brown clumps, and kind of
pulled it off with his finger.  I almost died, it was so gross!  Then he
smashed it with his fingers, and said one of the ferrets must be sick.  I
was getting sick.  Then he said "I wonder what the problem is...maybe they
ate something bad for them." and before I could scream, HE TASTED THE STUFF
ON HIS FINGER!!!!!
 
Just when I thought I had to run for the bathroom, I saw Buddy's treat bowl
on the floor.  The ferrets had pulled the lid off, and dig into it, and
spread the stuff everywhere.  The brown clumps in dads hair was the stuff,
and he knew it!  I should have known better.  He once took a bunch of city
kids up to the 9000 ft line in the Sierras (He spends two weeks every summer
camping in the mountains with inner city kids), and put some chocolate-
covered raisins on a rock.  When the kids saw them, he said the pile was
droppings from a yellow-bellied marmot, and talked about how a good woodsman
could tell how old the droppings were by how fresh they were.  He then
reached down and ate some of them, saying they were from a female marmot
with a cold, and one of the kids threw up on his boots.  Serves him right!
 
It was a good thing I was so weak from being so sick, or I would have killed
him.  Instead I made him go out in the snow and buy me some chocolate ice
cream.
 
Thanks you again for the cards and letters.  Thanks Sukie!
 
Elizabeth
[Posted in FML issue 1833]