Nell--I understand the heartache of losing a precious ferret kid and
the grief and angry that follows. My husband and I have had a total
of 24 ferrets in the 11 years since ferrets came in our lives. We
currently have 4 ferret kids.

Out of the 20 of our ferret kids who have passed away, I held 15 of
them as each one of them crossed the Rainbow Bridge. Four were with
my vet when they passed away and one passed away in his sleep, as he
slept with his cagemates. I lost them to fatty liver syndrome, tumors,
lymphoma, insulinoma, seizures brought on by brain lesions, heart
problems, complications from surgery, and old age.

My heart broke each time one of my kids crossed the Rainbow Bridge. I
was angry and racked with guilt because I felt I could have done more
for them. But in my heart I knew I did the best I could for them. My
grief became easier to handle when I reached out to other ferret
parents. The FML has proven to be the most helpful because everybody on
the list has experienced the lost of a ferret kid. We all understand
the joy of being blessed with a ferret kid and the anger and grief when
they leave us. Another thing that helps to ease my grief are the ferret
kids I still have who need me.

Everyday I feel the spirits of my ferret kids who have passed away. My
husband and I have both experienced the sensation of a ferret kid's
nose on our legs or the feel of their fur on our feet as they brush
past us when there are no ferrets about. My most profound experience
happened when I had a dream about one of my ferrets. In the dream, I
told my ferret kid, Mikey, he wasn't suppose to be here because he had
passed away. Days later, one of his cagemates, Molly, passed away in my
arms. I like to think the dream was a sign Mikey was waiting for her.

Nell, I don't know if any of this will help you. For me, writing is an
outlet for my grief. Writing about my ferret kids keeps their spirit
alive. So, keep writing and tell Raoul's story.

Lisa & the ferret kids: Nonnie, Gir, Katey, and Brook.

[Posted in FML 7894]