I wanted to thank everyone SO much for all the offers I've received for
donors for Holly.  Unfortunately, she passed away at 4am today (Sunday),
exactly one month after my Nicky died unexpectedly.
 
I feel like I killed her because I postponed her surgery for so long, but
she had been doing well on Lupron and I had three other sick animals when
she came to me that were worse off... She was to have surgery in 10 days.
Her crash was totally unexpected, and she was even still trying to eat
A/D an hour before she died.
 
To Rosemary and all the people who sent gifts for Holly and money towards
her surgery when I first got her-I am so sorry I let you and Holly down
by not getting her surgery done in time-I can't believe that I am now one
of "those" people who didn't get their pets what they needed.  I would
have done it when I first got her, but my job frowns on employees having
a big balance, and I had insulinomic and lymphoma-stricken Marley looking
at a possible splenectomy, Cora looking at her second adrenalectomy, and
Nicodemus, who needed a bilateral adrenalectomy and had a prostatic cyst
as a result, when I got her.  Again, she seemed to be doing so well on
the lupron in the meantime, growing fur, gaining weight, vulva swelling
reducing.
 
She was the sweetest girl-she was here because she chose me when I was
fostering her-following me eveywhere, grabbing my hands or feet with her
mouth and "dragging" me into her hammock to sleep, sleeping on my feet
(that was her favorite spot).  It seems so unfair.  I let her down.
 
Anyway, I was so touched this morning with all the phone messages I've
gotten and emails from not just people on the FML who know me, but total
strangers willing to offer their kids as blood donors for my sweet, sweet
girl.  She just couldn't hold on any longer and died in my arms in a
peaceful way.  I am heartbroken-I've lost three of my kids sine Dec. 16,
and I feel like Holly's death was totally preventable.  I should never
have kept her, even if she did get attached to me and vice versa-it
wasn't fair to her to make her wait.
 
Thanks again for all the amazing generosity and kindness of the FML-it
awes me anew every time how great ferret people are.  I hope I can help
someone else out again in the future and keep the circle going.
 
Peace,
April and Shawn and Finnegan, Cora and Bandit (missing Holly, Nicodemus,
Marley, Shannon, Sparkle and Renate)
[Posted in FML issue 4823]