Been strangely unwell the past 7 days:a different kind of 12 days of
Christmas for me.  Anaphylactic shock one night.Gotten so old the
Paramedic threw his arm over his eyes when I asked if he wanted to see
the welts forming as we spoke below my neck.  So off the new med I go.
 
Severe 20 some hour head piercing follows.  Sleep finally; Nightmares
within nightmares within another nightmare as I try to awaken myself..
Christmas Day I can barely care for the animals
 
Next came the left hand 12 some hour finger spasms topped with whipped
pain.  Today I diet on dizziness and nausea.  Never say I don't love
variety.
 
I don't know how I was able to drive home tonight, and felt so sorry for
every woman who had morning sickness.  I shlumped down in the shower, too
dizzy to stand...wishing I could at least vomit out what ever this poison
might be.  I sank in the hot water with hot air blowing in and around me.
 
Always in a hurry.  Always things to do...like feeling nauseous somewhere
else?  The10 second bath is over.  Get out.
 
But I hear the funny noises of a ferret.  I open the shower drape and
peep out.
 
Holy Cow
 
Every ferret I own lays on the blankets on the floor I had originally had
in the tub for them that day.  I have been transported to a harem.  I
feast my eyes...These gorgeous animals play, bathe, curl up, lay on
their backs....Wow.Wow.  wow.  What a magical beautiful site.  My
companions.  My babies.
 
I lace the rubber backed rug over the tub.  The towel that hung near by
to dry off?  I pull over me.  And in ones, twos, and threes they come.
If you build it, they will come.
 
They sit on the rug and gaze down on their first bath water.  They hop
onto the towel Mama below them and slurp hot bath water as though there
were not three fresh bowels of cool clean water laid out before I had
collapsed on the couch.
 
One group pops back to the blankets.  And two more slinky lovelys leap
onto the rug to peer into a tub filled with warm water and Mom the sicky.
 
What eye candy... quizzical looks, tiny pink tongues lapping, bodies
bunching, brains deciding whether to dive into this strange stuff.
Softest fur and snuffling noses.  Chocolate soulfull eyes sparkling.
A sigh from Tuffy.  .
 
I luxuriate in the enveloping warmth of water and rush of heat coming
from the duct.  I trip out mentally and emotionally on the happy
exploration and group bath experience.
 
A new name is born to my CoCo...a biter... as I watch her traverse the
tub rim looking for action.  I move my body over a few inches as she
observes naked vulneerable skin on my legs with a gleem in her eyes:
Coco the Cannibal.
 
God, she's half wild.  Coco the Cannibal.  She paces back and forth, back
and forth like a panther.  A cup of love please.  She fills it.  Who
could say why.  A cup of blood please.  I already gave at the couch.
People think I'm albino.  She doesn't hear me.
 
If I had been tied down and helpless to move in that tub, she would have
bled me to my doom, I reflect.  Let us hope we have not formed another
nightmare.  Then the she witch bejewels me with four red long tears on
my wrists...all happy leaping bouncing bites.  Yes, yes.  Of course I try
to avoid them all.  But she is nothing if not persistent with lightning
energy and happy teeth.
 
I scruff her tiny bony body as I lay back.  How could anything this
ridiculously small have so much life stuffed into her?  Will she EVER
stop biting me?  Why am I kissing her face?  She's been in every garbage
container in the house...cat poop.  You are kissing cat poop.  I kiss the
contaminated weazel face again, then place her on my tummy on the towel.
 
I am probably dying of cat poop poisoning.  Like a gazel, she bounds away
and out of the room.  She can leap a good 3 feet through the air.What
does she care if I die from kissiing her?
 
More come up.  Kissers.  Lovers..Mostly old now..Turning white or gray.
More come back.  Mini-Me paces the rim and plunges on top of me.  Her
chatter fills the room." I'm the boss of this house.  You keep away from
that CoCo.  I hate her." She jumps off, and I hear the squable and hiss
of CoCo and Mini-Me.  Then long silence and peace.The water stays warm..
which never happens.  The towel is now heavy with water and comfort..
 
It's been rather tough..these 7 days.  .  and my first year without a
Christmas or family.  But I feel a little better now.
 
I tuck away this bath time memory.  And for tonight I will hold onto it
as firmly as I clench the stinky chicken treats container that saves me
from being devoured by Coco in the middle of the night...
 
Coco the Cannibal
[Posted in FML issue 4741]