Silly Girl wrote to me to discuss what has been going on.
 
I think that there was a genuine failure to realize that people have to
be extra careful to avoid using loaded words and phrases in e-mail, even
if they have become habitual, because without tones of voice and body
language the result can back-fire.  In this case not only did some
members get hurt needlessly, but some others hurt for the sake of
friends.
 
Pretty well all that can be said has been said, so we have to be careful
that people don't run with parts of replies and misunderstand them anew.
 
The volunteer who does the incredible job of helping people mourn and
heal by providing "Sandee" knows that he or she is appreciated and
admired, the people who are in mourning now know that they are heard.
I think I even said again today why I admire that individual.
 
Love itself is a constructive gift; that is independent of whom the
recipient happens to be.
 
Maybe it's time to use a little of that love to realize that perhaps
there is some new understanding that careless wording in and of itself
can create a good deal of grief and anger, that assumptions merely worsen
the situation, and that perhaps some understanding or common ground
between both sides can be found with a little listening on both sides,
and that a few quiet, private apologies on each side may not be such a
bad idea, either, depending on the people and their own choices.
 
The FML is the size of small town; we have to remember to expect the
variety of a small town.
 
Pax?  Please?
 
[Moderator's note: I'm very glad to hear that "Silly Girl" will be
writing a response to the FML.  It's really time to move on th the
next big topic!  [BIG]
[Posted in FML issue 3907]