Is it any surprise that I couldn't keep myself away from this place? :)
The first time I logged onto the internet was June 10th, 1996. I joined
the FML three days later, and I have a double handful of warm memories of
sitting in my parents' spare bedroom, gazing, absolutely enthralled, at
the computer as I read each and every post in my FML digests. I'd wait,
restlessly squirmy as any ferret kit, for Eudora to play that "You have
new mail!" sound so I could double-click on the latest issue and see what
was up in the life of BIG, Rosie and Maxie, Missouri Bob, Tater and Odie's
Mee Maw and Paw Paw, and all the rest. I spent endless hours on the
Ferret Chat Server, amazed that I could communicate instantly with people
as crazy about fuzzbutts as I am. And I remember, on July 23rd of the
year, tapping out through my tears a letter telling the list of my first
ferret, five-year-old Freddy, passing on to the Rainbow Bridge. God,
and you would've thought five years would dull the pain... I'm sitting
here even now and feeling that unpleasantly familiar pricking behind my
eyelids. These little weasels really dig their way into your hearts...
but you all know that. Back then, to a soon-to-be high-schooler who'd
just lost her best friend, the outpouring of sympathetic messages I'd
received from the list in response to my post meant the world. And, now,
with my derriere going numb from sitting in this uncomfortable desk chair
in my apartment as I write this out, I get that warm fuzzy feeling (hey,
you *know* I had to say it at some point!) all over again.
It goes without saying that a lot has happened over the past five years.
The entire original fearsome foursome are no doubt dismantling the Rainbow
Bridge as we speak (but looking so damn cute that you know they won't get
in trouble for it), and the two "new" boys ("new" meaning five and four
years old, respectively), Fozzy and Dimitri, are at my parents' house
playing tricks on their grandpa by taking advantage of the fact that he
can't tell them apart for beans. I'm creeping up to the halfway point of
my sophomore year in college, majoring in Psychology and minoring in
Criminal Justice (see, those little thieves had to influence me
*some*how), and I'm sharing a two-bedroom apartment with my friend Steph
and I have a laptop in my room instead of a desktop in my parents' spare
bedroom. So much has changed, but, right now, as I glance down at my lap,
it feels like other things will *never* change.
After clocking out at work, I drove to the local Petland with one
objective in mind: buy a ferret kit. Ferret Math strikes yet again.
Steph spends most of her time at her boyfriend Jason's apartment, so the
lack of other living things around the house has really been getting to
me lately. It got to the point where I wanted to buy a potted plant to
keep me company, but, with my black thumb, I'd be better off buying a fake
plant and just pretending. I needed something in my life to keep me on my
toes (by nipping them) and make me buy raisins. I needed something in my
life to force me to clean behind the washer and dryer (hey, as long as I'm
back there...). I needed a little chaos in my too-ordered life. I needed
a ferret.
I've owned (or have been owned by, depending on who you ask) four boys and
two little girls, and, as much as I loved my jills, I have to say that
I've always preferred the males; to me, they seem more laid-back, more
fun-loving, and more likely to go around with an idiotic grin plastered
on their cute little faces... much like the males of other, less furry
species. >g< Sure enough, with my luck, the closest I could get to a hob
at Petland was a really butch-looking, not-so-little girl. Reluctant to
buy a female and concerned at the very young age of the kits (under eight
weeks, I'd guess), I passed on Petland and asked them what other local pet
stores might carry ferrets. They referred me to Pet Supermarket, which
was out of fuzzbutts, but the guy at the desk made some calls to other
area branches and found a store that had four boys. Map and directions in
hand, I made the drive out to *that* Pet Supermarket... and found one
ferret. One. In that awkward stage between kit and adult and with a
suspiciously pointy little muzzle. Another female, I thought, and not
even a baby. Great. The guy gave me directions to the wrong branch, and
here it was half an hour before closing. I'd never make it out to the
other store in time.
I didn't need to. I picked up this little "girl," discovered that "she"
was just a whippet-style he, and fell in love pretty much immediately.
After being gnawed on by the kits, the calmer demeanor of this thirteen
week old was refreshing, and I just couldn't make myself leave him there
all by himself. He was the *last one*, ferchrissakes. He'd been there
for five or six weeks and, apparently, nobody wanted him, but I couldn't
imagine why. A lithe chocolate with a blaze, beautifully patterned bib,
white mitts, *and* a splash of white across his belly, this burgundy-eyed
cutie pie is absolutely adorable. At first glance, I prepared myself for
a mad dash across town to the other Pet Supermarket; on second glance, I
went out to my car to get my checkbook.
Never mind that my check was of too low a number to be accepted and I had
to risk walking through the dark to use an ATM, or the fact that I had to
buy duplicates of all the ferret goodies that my parents have right at
their house. I once again had a ferret in my arms--in my hair--on my
shoulder--crawling.. no, *falling* down my back... and I was in love.
After fitting him with the crappy temporary harness I bought at the pet
store, Murphy did the "I'm dying I know it why won't you help me you cruel
heartless woman" act typical of ferrets being harnessed for the first
time... and is now sprawled across my lap, one leg in the air, the other
twitching from time to time, doing that amazing impression of a fur stole
that all ferrets seem to have mastered. He's dead to the world, and I'm
only now realizing how much I've missed having a ferret play dead in my
lap -- and how much I've missed the FML.
God, I'm glad to be back. :)
--Jess & Murphy 8:><:B
[Posted in FML issue 3584]
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