Dear Ann Landers,
 
My homeless youngsters have been clean and sober for over a month now.  I
am so proud of them.  There was a small problem with stealing change, but
I simply took temptation out of the way.  The boy is going for his GED,
and decided to go into the armed forces.  I am paying him each day to work
here, and he found a part time job.
 
The drug problem has not been so easily broken for others of us here.  Cat
and Blue will nip me if I do not remove some catnip from the jar on the
kitchen table.  I have the paper towel roll I need to clean up poopies
right next to the catnip.  Looks like I am about to roll a giant joint; or
so I have been told.  Little gets on the table each day to knock the drug
off of the table.  Then he quickly jumps down to roll in the stuff.
 
We are trying to start a 12 step program in our house to help the druggies
here.  First Chewy, Little, Blue, and Cat have to admit that they are
powerless over cat-nip.  Sadly, they are still in denial.
 
Stealing tooth paste has become a serious problem.  Chewy has learned how
to open a drawer in the cabinet, and then opens the next one.  He stands on
this to get up on the sink, and steals anything in a tube.  I thought the
youngsters were misplacing tubes.  But they are innocent.
 
I had the lad clean all of my carpets.  He searched all over for Wolf, who
was behind a large drawer.  It is there that the stash was discovered for
the most part: cream, nutrical, ferret-vite, toothpaste: over 12 tubes.
Looks like he was waiting to fence it.
 
And the sex around here: It is simply shocking.  Cheyene has taken to
positioning himself onto every ferrets back and humping them all.  I have
guests over, and Wolf comes trotting through the living room with Cheyene
glued to his back humping him.  Maybe he should run as a presidential
back-up.
 
Whats a body to do??  I am surrounded by stealing, sex, and drugs.
 
Lisette
[Posted in FML issue 2996]